Just because I'm not busy enough...

with mum-ing, immie&ollie-ing, and consulting, I've started a new business helping WAHMs out with doing their own PR.

If you are a WAHM who knows you need to get more media coverage to grow your business, but you don't really know where to start, and definitely can't afford to engage a traditional PR agency, then I can help you.

Here's my blogsite: www.princess-street-pr.com

Image here

Especially when you're sleeping

It's when my babies are sleeping that I am able to love them unencumbered, uncomplicated, unconflicted.

It's not a better love, or a deeper one, but it's a profoundly different one.

When they're asleep at night I know I've done the best I can do that day. It's finished now.

They've been nurtured and nourished. We've loved and learned. We've walked and talked, and practiced and perfected. There has been fresh air and freedom. Boundaries established and tested.

When they're awake I love them more than I can express, but I am always second-guessing my parenting: judging myself against their milestones. Have they eaten enough; fine-tuned their motor skills enough; said enough words; had enough fresh air; socialised enough; learned enough; loved enough? Are they happy?

But when they're asleep, and they're lying there in their cots with their eyelashes closed against those perfect soft cheeks, I know we've all achieved another day. Any mistakes I've made are forgotten. That intensity of love that they are soley responsibly for igniting in me flares louder. And I just love them. That's all - and everything.

18 months

Oh, my baby boys. You are 18 months old. One and a half. Already!

And you're such little boys. Inquisitive, cheeky, noisy, cuddly, messy, and lovely.

My darling Rocky,

You blow my mind. You've started talking - really truly talking - in proper words and sentences. "Mummy, poo - nappy!" "Mummy, up, please?", "Mummy, bottle, yum".

The instant you're awake you start going through all your favourite words, and you don't stop until your head lays on your bed to sleep.

You seem calmer now too - as though your increased ability to communicate has solved some of your frustration. You've stopped shouting as much, except when you're shouting with laughter and joy.

I *think* you've even graduated out of your sleep wrap. Last night was the first full night that you've managed to stay lying down without it since you were 10 months old!

You're less suspicious of people now too, and more social. Especially when they are impressed with your talking skills. Then you don't leave them alone :)

You love Tiny Tots, ravioli, grass, and cuddles.

And I love you more than I could ever put into words. To the moon - and back - and more.

All the love in the universe,

Your Mama

Hamish, you darling darling boy, I adore you. Adore adore adore you. You are so gentle. And kind. And soft. You're always giving things away to other people - it makes you happier than anything else to give someone a gift. You don't keep anything for yourself.

I've never been so proud of you either.

You handled your surgery so well. You didn't cry - honestly. Not once. Even when the surgeon pulled the metal pin out of your hand without a local anaesthetic. You just stared at him with your big trusting eyes and grinned with excitement at having your hands back, working better than ever. Then you waved.

I cried, but not you. Never you.

You are hilarious. You get yourself into the strangest places and positions and wait there until someone walks by, when you jump out with a 'boo'. You cackle and cackle, and you make Daddy and I laugh until tears run down our faces.

You're a very special little boy, and we are blessed to have you in our lives.

As ever, my darling, all the love in the universe,

Your mama

I met Anita Roddick

When I lived in the UK and worked as a campaign manager at a giant human rights charity, I met Anita Roddick.

I was heading up the women's rights area and the issue of trafficking for sexual exploitation was one of our huge campaign issues. The EU was in the process of delivering their European Convention Against Trafficking. The UK was extremely reluctant to sign it. Most of the signatories were origin countries (where most of the women and girls who were trafficked cam from). Most of the reluctant signatories were destination countries. No real surprise there, I suppose.

Anyhow, I met Anita in the course of this work. She 'shadowed' me for a day in my work. She wanted to know what a day was like in running a campaign like this. She was full of energy and enthusiasm. Of big crazy ideas and a 'bugger-them-let's-just-do-it' attitude.

I think the daily reality of my job was less dramatic than she was hoping for. She wanted to break down the doors of the brothels. She wanted all the men charged and imprisoned. Instead we were lobbying MPs, writing legal briefs and research papers and studying reports. She was a giant force in a diminutive frame.

She had wild crazy hair, colourful scarves, and took up more emotional space than she did physical. Her energy was palpable.

I'm glad I met her. Fortunate. People always say she was an inspiring woman. And she was.

For T

I love you because Every time I see you my face breaks into a smile I still get butterflies in my tummy when I see you again after I’ve been away I can see every piece of your face perfectly when I close my eyes You’re the subject of my dreams I can see how much you love me just by looking into your eyes You make me feel as though I’m worth something You make my heart sing You can read my mind You support me unconditionally You are my strength You love hugs I can’t wait to see you every day When I wake up in the morning I still can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to have you lying there next to me You believe in me You make me laugh I miss you when I don’t see you We fit You’re always warm I know you always think of me first I’d go to the end of the earth for you I can’t express in words how much I adore you It still feels like magic You’re what I’ve waited for my entire life

Ready, Set, Talk - 17 months

Well darlings, you're 17 months old, and are chatterboxes. You don't stop talking. Either of you.

Daddy and I decided we should record a list of your words, so please excuse the list, but here they are:

Lach
Mama
Daddy
Bear
Turtle
Princess
Toast
Milk
num num
Balloon (boon)
Book (booka)
Shoe (Doo)
Num num (food)
Berry (bewwy)
Light (dight)
Fan (woo woo)
Bikkie (gubby)
Cuppatea
Torch
Car
Carkeys
Grass(gass)
Baby/bubba
Crazy
Ziggy
Pa
Nanna
Gamma
Go go go
Ball
Pool
Bath
Tree
Clock
Hat (dat)
Mates
Egg
Block
Straw
Table
Chalk
Bath


Hamish
Mummy
Dad
Toast (t)
Milk (meh-meh)
Balloon (boon)
Book (booka)
Shoe (Soo)
Num num (food)
Nose
Light (La)
Fan (woo woo)
Bear (Beer)
Turtle
Car
Grass(gass)
Baby/bubba
Pa
Nanna
Gamma
Ball
Pool
Bath
Tree
Clock
Mates
Egg
Block
Straw
Bath

That's a lot of words, apparently. You understand a whole lot more than that as well, so you're clever little monkeys. You're noisy too.

Oh, and you climb. Especially you, Hamish. Your arm casts are absolutely no deterrent whatsoever. You scale anything. Absolutely anything. A foothold, and you're up! With the climbing, comes the falling, and the head-knocking, but you're still in one piece.

You love to play 'heads, shoulders, knees and toes' and giggle your little heads off as you point to all the parts. You know head, ears, knees, toes, belly-button, mouth, eyes. And you dance! You both stand there stomping your little feet, swinging your little hips,waving your little arms, and nodding your little heads the instant any music with a good strong beat comes on.

I love you more than I can express, you noisy, funny, vertical little men.

All the love in the universe,
Your mama xxx

No time to cook

I love Donna Hay. I have every cookbook and a subscription to her magazine. Luuuurve her.

However, since the boys arrived, those beautiful glossy books of gastronomic high fashion have been taunting me. Teasing me. And frankly, making me feel both useless and guilty all at once.

As soon as the boys hit the stage of being awake more than they were asleep, dinner ceased being on the table. I just couldn't get it together in time.

I have spent many many months feeling rather pathetic. I mean, how hard it is to cook something simple. It's easy of course, if the ingredients are in the cupboard / fridge. If you remember to get the meat out of the freezer. If you can chop and peel with toddlers hanging off your legs. If you can ignore the flour being tipped all over the floor while you stir something at a crucial stage.

I bought a slow cooker, thinking it was going to solve all my problems. It didn't. Because in order for a slow cooker to cook, you have to have ingredients (that old chestnut) - defrosted (again, not my forte) - to pop in (in the morning - NOT the late afternoon).

I gave up weekends and precious family time cooking meals to freeze, thinking that would solve all my problems. It did - for a while - until I got so sick of bolognaise that I don't think I'll ever be able to eat it again.

When I served baby puree on pasta one night, I knew I had hit a new low. Especially when I decided *not to tell* and *pretend* it was actual pasta sauce.

But then I got my hands on Donna Hay's No Time To Cook. Seriously. The. Best. Cookbook. Ever.

Honestly.

Yes, you have to actually do some grocery shopping, but that's common to all cooking and eating - not just this book. So on the weekend, I sat down for 10 minutes with the book, picked out 7 recipes, wrote a shopping list and sent T off to Woollies.

In the past week, we have cooked:

Chicken and chorizo cous cous with spinach
Spinach bacon and ricotta frittata
Cunnchy parmesan chicken
Baked lemon chicken and feta
Quesadillas
Three-cheese risotto
Prosciutto and mozzarella open sandwiches on ciabatta

I know, right! Amazing. I've even stunned myself. I've come a long way baby.

The best thing is that none of them take more than 5 minutes to prepare. Honestly. Stick a needle in my eye. And T and I do it together when he gets home from work, we get to have a lovely chat and a glass of wine. It's very civilised. Plus I am sure we are saving money. We were in the trap of buying takeaway, or doing a late mercy dash to the supermarket and just buying whatever looked edible. We have also lessened our wastage.

Changed my life. Thanks Donna. You're my hero. xxxx

Lach, you're a beautiful brother

Darling Lach

I just wanted to capture this moment for you; such a beautiful precious moment that shows how much you love and look out for Hamish.

I tried to get a photo and some video, but I didn't manage it, so this is the best I can do.

Last week, while you and Hamish were playing, you noticed that Mishy was trying to read a book. You noticed that he couldn't turn the pages because both of his arms and hands were in casts. You went across to him, sat next to him, and turned the pages for him.

It was so beautiful it made me cry. You are so beautiful my little Rocky.

I adore you, with every breath I have.

All the love in the universe
Your Mama

Back garden playtime

Post-op

My darling Hame's surgery went beautifully, and my little one is one astounding human.

We had to wake up very early on Wednesday morning to get to the hospital by 6am for surgery at 8am. He was nil-by-mouth, so I was really worried he was going to be hungry and miserable for the two hours we were waiting around. [I would have been!]

But he wasn't- not even a bit. He was a little ray of sunshine. Smiling and laughing at all the nurses and hospital staff. Running up and down the corridors of his ward giggling and waving at everyone he passed. Bouncing up and down on his bed.

The anaesthetist came by about an hour before his scheduled surgery time to explain to us what he was going to do, and told us that most babies are really very upset when they come out of the anaesthetic and get quite distressed with the gas used to put them to sleep. So we were prepared for lots of tears.

I went into the theatre with him, anxiously wondering how it was going to go. I wasn't sure how well I would hold it together if he started thrashing around and really crying. But do you know what that little darling boy did? He just sing-songed and smiled at every one until his long eyelashed fluttered closed against his perfect little cheeks.

I didn't cry. There was no need. He was perfectly fine. I did get a very sore lump in my throat as I left the theatre though - as unlikely as it was, I couldn't get rid of that paralysing fear in the very dark depths of my mind that something could go horribly wrong while he was under the anaesthetic and that last kiss I placed on his soft little cheek might have been the last one ever.

But of course he was fine. And when he came out of his anaesthetic he was astonishing. Still smiling. And snuggling. T and I both got some fabulous, long baby snuggles because he was still so sleepy, and we cherished every last minute. We don't get enough of those long warm snuggles these days.

He is so remarkable. If it wasn't for the bandages, you'd never know he had an operation yesterday. While still in hospital, still pretty groggy, he was hiding behind the curtain and playing 'boo' - just to see us smile. As if to say "don't worry about me mama, I'm better than ever".

He still hasn't cried. Not in pain. Not when he overbalanced and fell onto his arms. Not when he and Lach collided and he fell. Not when he can't pick up his sipper cup, or his food, or his toys, or turn the pages of his book.

He is his usual smiley, laughing, singing, happy self. I've never been so proud of him.

We are so lucky to have such an angelic, happy baby boy.

Darling Hamish, tomorrow is a big day

Hello Hamish, my darling one.

I've just peeked in on you, tucked up in bed asleep, looking like the peaceful angel that you are. Did you know you even look like you're smiling while you're sleeping? Well, you do.

Tomorrow is the day you are having your surgery. You hit the 10kg mark, and so the time has come.

Daddy and I are sure you will face this challenge with your usual smiles and laughter. And before you know it, you will be back to normal, only better :)

We love you angel - you darling, divine, boy.

All the love in the universe
Your mamaxxxxxxx

Floods

Well, it's a new year and this is my first post.

Things have been catastrophic here in Brisbane. It's been truly horrifying. So many lives lost. Homes, possessions, memories, and safety; gone in almost the blink of an eye.

Tim has been out today for more than 12 hours already helping with the clean up and they've only made it to two homes. And neither of them are anywhere near cleaned up. It is going to literally take months. It will take years for things to be fully rectified, and even then, it won't be as it was. So many people are going to be homeless for a very long time.Thousands of homes will have to be completely demolished. It's incredibly sad.

What is it they say about tragedy bringing out the best in people? It has. But there are also the vultures - too many incidents of looting - what unfeeling, selfish,utter bastards. But gloriously there have been tens of thousands of everyday people getting out into suburban streets with their brooms, mops, hoses, pressure cleaners and mucking in wherever they can. It gives you faith that everything will somehow be ok.

I feel impotent in many ways. I wish I could do more. But with two babies it is hard. I have packed up lots of baby clothes and toys. A friend-of-a-friend is 37 weeks pregnant and lost absolutely everything when their house in Chelmer was consumed by the river. Every single thing in her home is gone. Everything they had bought in preparation for the arrival of their first baby. I've packed up lots of stuff for her.

I have been glued to the television for days. Tears streaming down my face. It's almost more than I can bear, but I can't tear my eyes away. The stories of babies and children being torn from their parents' arms by violent waters breaks my heart. I don't think I could go on. But they do. People can show extraordinary strength in the most hideous of circumstances, and I suppose, have done since time began.

Everyday heroes. My heroes.

Some photos of my beautiful devastated city.

Help?

Today, I tackled the supermarket with the boys. I didn't really give it a second thought - I've taken them plenty of times before and they just do their thing; it's never any trouble.

But today I couldn't get the 'parents with prams park' so I had to park a good walk away from the entrance.

I didn't have the pram in the car because I was planning to use a trolley. Who can push a trolley and a double buggy up and down supermarket aisles? Not me.

So there I was, a good few hundred metres from the entrance, with two 15 month olds who I can't let walk on their own safely near cars!

I had to get them out of their carseats, but what would I do with the one who was out while I got the second baby out of his seat? I couldn't just pop him on the ground and tell him to stay - the carpark is like a busy road.

So I had to hold Hamish on one hip, while I took Lach out of his seat. I bumped one's head and nearly dropped the other, but we got there.

Then I had to balance two babies on my hips, which, I have always moaned about, and never more so since having babies, DON'T EXIST! The only way I can get a baby balanced on a hip is to jut it out. Ever tried jutting both hips out? Not possible.

So precariously balanced, with two babies, both around 10kg, both hanging down to my knees (I'm not a tall girl, let's put it that way), I had to race across the road and down to the supermarket.

Lots of people gave me sympathetic smiles. Someone told me I deserved a medal. Someone else said "It's not easy is it love?".

But, not one person offered to help me.

I don't know if I would have accepted - you know, in order to keep your balance you must keep moving - so this is probably a moot point in the end, but I was frankly rather astonished.

I was obviously struggling just getting there. Then I had to somehow use a hand (that should have been balancing a baby) to pull out all the trolleys to get to the one trolley that has two seats in it, and still, not one person offered to help.

Plenty watched on in morbid fascination though. Will she make it? Will she drop them? Is this going to end in catastrophe?

What is that all about? Perhaps they were waiting for me to ask?

The twins v Santa

Poor guy - I don't think he knew what hit him.

today

I am day dreaming about pretty frothy frocks
I am baby-free, and working. I miss them.
I am editing web copy while drinking endless cups of english breakfast tea, from a teapot, made with leaves
I can still smell Hame's warm little morning snuggles
I have made a mercy dash to our poor pool, which had turned an alarming shade of green overnight
I am smiling at Lach's newest word: crazy. He says it all the time, and it's so cute.
I picked some gardenias from my garden, and they have made my house smell so pretty
A good friend called and we had a lovely chat
I told my special peeps that I love them
The sun is shining!

15 months

Rockstar, you are busy. So so busy. All the time.

You don't walk - you run. You don't just talk, you chatterbox. You don't do things quietly; you make as much noise as you can. Sometimes you just shout - as loud as you can - for absolutely no reason other than that it maks you laugh, it makes Hame laugh, and it makes Mama and Daddy laugh.

Your latest version of fun is picking up everything that is pick-up-able, and throwing it over the baby gate and down the stairs, with as much force and racket as you can muster. You also throw things down behind the television and under the sofa, and remove everything in your reach from its rightful home, and onto the floor. You are a one-baby chaos machine!

But you are delightful. So cheeky. So funny. So clever. And so cuddly. One of my favourite things is when you see me coming and you race as fast as your little legs will carry you over to me. You throw yourself around my legs and grip on as though you never want to let go.

You are going through a very clingy phase and are sometimes utterly inconsolable unless I'm giving you a cuddle. You cry with such heart-breaking tears that it's all I can do to stop my own tears falling.

But mostly you are cheeky, crazy, giggly, and mischievous.

I love you my little Rocky.

All the love in the universe,
Your mama


Hello Hamish, darling boy

Happy 15 month birthday my angel. I know I say it every month, but you are a darling. You just are. You still are. I'm sure you always will be.

You are kind, and gentle, and sweet.
You sing the softest, sweetest songs, and it melts my heart.
You smile and laugh at complete strangers everywhere we go. They fall in love with you, and I don't blame them.

You LOVE other children. You try to launch yourself out of your pram to play with other kids. You point and laugh and laugh until they see you, and then they can't help themselves either - you're irresistible even to them. They come over, hold your hands, kiss your cheeks, and say "look at the beautiful little baby mummy" to their own mamas. You are enchanting.

All four of your molars have come through at exactly the same time this month and you haven't made a peep. Not a sound. You are so brave. Even when your little gums have been bleeding, you still keep on smiling.

Lately, you love your teddy bears. You often pick all of them up and once and just snuggle right into them with the biggest, happiest grin on your face. See? Darling. No question.

As ever, all the love in the universe
Your Mama

so, this is what I'm thinking.....

I don't think there are enough opportunities in life to wear a tutu, so why not!!

And yes, I know, it's all over a year away, and there is more to a party than a frock....!?

I'm planning something..!!

It's an indulgence. And it's more than a year away. But I love nothing more than the anticipation of waiting for something special.

In just over 12 months it will be our 10 year wedding anniversary.

10 years!

So I'm planning a party - a big bash - and I can't wait to get engrossed in all the details.

I found this pic today, and although it's stark and empty, I love the feeling it evokes, and the promise it holds! The wide open sky, those gorgeous paper lanterns and the simplicity. Stunning.

Hello Thursday

How did you get here so quickly?




Image: weheartit

Lucky

Some days, for some reason I can't explain, I realise how lucky I am, and how lucky my little family is.

We're lucky that we found love, and that we love deeply.

We're lucky that we have our health.

We're lucky that we have close family and friends we can count on, and who can count on us.

We're lucky that we have a beautiful forever house already.

We're lucky that the cards have been in our favour, when for so many others they're not.

We're lucky to have been fortunate enough to have two beautiful babies.

You'd never know by looking at me just how truly lucky I am to be alive.

You'd never know by looking at my babies just how tiny they were, and how all their risk factors for things like cerebral palsy were so much higher than average.

I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking about all the things I don't have. So every now and then I just make sure I acknowledge all that we do. I don't ever want to take any of it for granted.