Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Especially when you're sleeping


It's when my babies are sleeping that I am able to love them unencumbered, uncomplicated, unconflicted.

It's not a better love, or a deeper one, but it's a profoundly different one.

When they're asleep at night I know I've done the best I can do that day. It's finished now.

They've been nurtured and nourished. We've loved and learned. We've walked and talked, and practiced and perfected. There has been fresh air and freedom. Boundaries established and tested.

When they're awake I love them more than I can express, but I am always second-guessing my parenting: judging myself against their milestones. Have they eaten enough; fine-tuned their motor skills enough; said enough words; had enough fresh air; socialised enough; learned enough; loved enough? Are they happy?

But when they're asleep, and they're lying there in their cots with their eyelashes closed against those perfect soft cheeks, I know we've all achieved another day. Any mistakes I've made are forgotten. That intensity of love that they are soley responsibly for igniting in me flares louder. And I just love them. That's all - and everything.

9 comments:

  1. That is such a beautiful picture and your words are also lovely.

    I love those stolen moments when you watch them sleeping. I know exactly what you mean about the intensity of love you feel at that time. I guess it's there all the time but overwhelmed by all the other noise and feelings when they are awake!

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  2. i know what you mean Jen!
    every night I kiss & tuck them in while they sleep, every single night I smile ♥

    thanks for the sweetness, hugs to you too ♥

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  3. What beautiful words - there's nothing like watching little ones sleep xx

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  4. So beautifully written! xxx

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  5. They always look so serene don't they. I could watch my girls sleep for hours.

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  6. Jen thank you for stopping by babyderoach. I am desperately hoping for twins. After 18 months and 7 rounds of IVF I really think this will be my last pregnancy so what a blessing to get 2 babies.

    Enough about me now about you. Your words in this post are so beautiful - it makes me wish I had written them and as for that photo - amazing.

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Thank you for posting! You've just made my day :)