Tuesday, November 10, 2009

An explanation

I have just been reading Mama Mia (http://mamamia.com.au/weblog/2009/11/here-comes-the-bride-and-there-goes-her-name.html).

I didn't change my name when T and I were married. 5 years later I did. But I didn't lose my surname. I just simply added his to the end. No hyphen. Just two surnames.

I did it for a few reasons. One is that there was no way I was going to give up my name. It is part of my identity. It is who T fell in love with. It's me. It's mine. I love it. It's special to me.

Similarly, I am married to a wonderful man. We wanted to have a family. We wanted a family unit. I wanted to honour and respect our relationship and our future family.

T thinks it's pretty cool. Even if his mates tease him by calling him Mr my name / his name.

Our boys have my surname - the double one. I'm sure it won't confuse them. I don't feel sorry for them. It's not pretentious. It's a few extra letters.

But it's more than that.

It's a lesson that women and men are equal in marriage. That personal identity is important, and to be respected. That women are strong, independent and don't need a man's name to find their place in this life.

Important lessons for little boys, no?

So, my darling boys. That's why you have both Mama and Daddy's surnames. We both love you. You are part of both of us, and both of our families. We think that's important stuff.

1 comment:

  1. That's really cool!
    I kind of did the same thing too - although a bit different: we combined surnames and legally changed our names (because we got married overseas). Now we have surnames that are 100% original and cause quite a bit of confusion. I was happy to combine - it was kind of an awesome statement we made to each other, if that makes sense.


Thank you for posting! You've just made my day :)