A sight you don't see everyday

Our poor neighbours. A whole tree was battered and uprooted in these violent and brutal storms. It was craned off this morning, and their car towed away.

We live in an elevated area, so the flood waters don't rise through our street and into our homes. But the volume of water falling from the sky and the run-off from the houses further up the hill mean that we are still affected. Water has seeped through our walls. Paint is bubbling and sagging. Mould is forming. Carpets are sodden. Today I'm moving furniture and boxes off the sopping carpet and thanking my lucky stars we don't have much, and that it's not worse. In 2011, our downstairs level was flooded and it was coming in sooner than we could mop and up and sweep it out.

In the spirit of gratitude, I've been needing to declutter and clear out, so this is forcing me to get on with it.

I can't stop watching the news, and I can't believe this is happening again - almost exactly two years later. The death of the three year old boy is just devastating, as are the other losses of life.

It's all just too sad.

It's a land of extremes, this country of ours. From bushfires to floods, in a matter of days.

4/52

Roc. Posing. Begging me to take a "photo of my funniest ever in the whole world face mama". Complete with 'warm chocolate' froth on his lip.

My Hamish, deep in concentration. Car-building.

Joining in with Jodi and this wonderful project.

3/52

"A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2013"

We often take the boys out for breakfast on the weekends. We have a theory that the more often we do it, the better socialised they'll be. It can be a bit hit and miss, but as they get older and more used to it, it gets easier. Today was mostly a winner.

They look so grown up here. It takes my breath away.

[They ALWAYS want to wear the same clothes. Today's matching hat was most definitely not optional!]

Hamish, just as he is. Wide eyed and innocent.

Roc, concentrating on drinking his eagerly (and patiently) awaited chocolate milkshake

Playing along with Jodi from Che and Fidel. I adore this project. I love seeing snippets of other people's lives, and I can't wait to learn more about my camera.

A plan

I'm a planner. I always have been. As a child, I used to scribble lists of books to read, tasks to achieve, money to put away to buy more precious books. At school, I loved charting class timetables and planning study schedules in the lead up to exams. I spreadsheet everything; even the contents of packing and moving boxes.

I love the feeling of knowing exactly how I'm going to get somewhere, and enjoy knowing that each step along the way is getting me closer. I spend my work days planning out projects for other people.

But a life plan? I don't have one of those, and, actually, I'm not entirely sure why.

I have vague ideas about where I want us to be in 5 years and 10 years. Happy. Doing things we enjoy instead of doing things because they pay the bills. Somewhere with space. Somewhere exciting. Kids roaming outside. Art on the walls, loads of old chairs. Sitting in the garden under a canopy of lights and fragrant flowers. Friends and family to stay. Simplicity.

This fanciful imagining would never cut it at work. There's nothing specific here. No defined objectives. No clear timeframe. No critical path. No clear journey from where we are now to this beautiful place in my mind. No idea how to get there.

So, we'll talk some more. Dream some more. Open our minds and turn off the fear button for a moment to see if it brings us any clarity.

There's always a way.

This year, we'll find ours.

11 years

My favourite photo of  us.
A beautiful summer's day on Primrose Hill in London; we were young, carefree and having the adventure of a lifetime.

11 years ago, I married the most wonderful person I had ever met. He's still the most beautiful person I know. I'm lucky. We're lucky. We met when we were barely out of our teens. It was the most beautiful young love. And it's still beautiful. We have made our own divine little family and I've never been happier or more grateful. And so blessed. I love you T.

2/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Roc, hair sun-bleached pure platinum.

Hamish, quietly contemplative

I love Jodi's '52' project. Thanks Jodi. Join here.

Affection

Oh, my darling Roc. You have a beautiful heart. You've always been affectionate - adoring snuggles and kisses - but lately you have reached new levels of love.

The other night, when I asked you who your best friend was, you said "Hamey! I love my brudder. He makes my heart smile."

Truly. You did. Those amazing, heart-felt words rolled straight off your tongue. And just like that, my heart smiled, swelled and, well, tears welled. When I told you that you made my heart smile, you looked up at me in wonderment, with the most glorious look of sheer unadulterated happiness on your face. It was one of those perfect moments in time when memories are made that will last a lifetime.

You frequently say, "I love you Mummy. And I love Daddy. And I love Hamey. And I love MYSELF". It's hilarious, but I hope you always will.

Whenever we're walking along holding hands, you cover the back of my hand with hundreds of tiny feather-light kisses, and you glance sidelong at me waiting for me to notice, with the sweetest smile on your elfin face.

I know one day I'll lean in for a kiss and you'll roll your eyes and mutter something like "Eww, gross Mum", so until then, I am going to enjoy every last one.

1 / 52

I'm so excited about joining in with Jodi from Che and Fidel and her 'A Portrait a Week' project. I take so many photos of the boys, but in all honesty, most of them are terrible. I'm looking forward to working on my photography skills (including progressing from my iphone!) and capturing special moments in their tiny lives.

Hamish, devouring a mango "ponkipine". The taste of summer. He asks for this at least five times a day. This one is a fruitarian.

Roc. Finding quiet and calm in sleep. He never stops moving or talking, so I love watching him sleep. I think his lips are perfection.

2013

Hello 2013. It's so lovely to see you. You and me? We're going to have a beautiful year. I can feel it already.

I'm not really one for new year resolutions. I used to be, when I was much younger - the 'lose 5kg by my birthday' sort that made me feel bad when I failed at them. I think, on the whole, we set too many, they tend to be unrealistic and laden with too much guilt when we don't achieve them.

I do like to think about how to bring more positivity into my life though, and the start of a new year is as good a time as any to remember why it's important. Actually, I've been thinking a lot about it lately, and for 2013 I choose:

happiness, health and simplicity

I think choosing to be happy is one of the most powerful things you can do to take control of your life. Happiness doesn't always just happen. Like all good things, you have to work at it, recognise it, nourish it, and celebrate it. I'm pretty good at being grateful, but like most people, I sometimes get a bit bogged down in the mundane. Lately, I have found happiness easy to find - because I'm consciously taking notice of the little things that happen each day that bring a smile to my face - so I'm going to make a real effort to continue to do just that this year, and choose happiness.

I need to prioritise health this year too. I haven't had a particularly stellar year, health-wise. I don't eat enough good food. I don't exercise enough. I haven't been putting my health first. But I must. I'm no use at all to anyone if I'm not well. But I think most importantly, I want to feel energised instead of exhausted.

Simplicity has been luring me for some time. I'm at the point where the sheer amount of stuff we own makes me feel quite nauseous. This 'just buy a new one' world we live in makes me feel ashamed, and more than a bit ungrateful. I don't need more stuff. In fact I want less! I need to better appreciate what we have, and put it to use. Purposeful, meaningful, beautiful; that's my new test.

We did a simple Christmas this year. Some pickings from the garden. Some home-made clay tags.  Potted gardenias. Presents wrapped with brown paper, paper doilies, and stamped. A simple baked ham. A couple of fresh herby salads. Done leisurely, happily, and with love. Enjoyment and happiness was the only possible outcome. There's a lot to be said for that. Simplicity celebrated.

I want to teach my babies they don't need 'stuff'. I want to teach them to use their imaginations and their hands. I want to be strong enough and confident enough in my parenting ability that I can choose the simple life and know that it will stand them in good stead.

And for a bit of self-development, I want to learn how to use our camera properly so I can take beautiful pictures of my fortunate life.

Well, that's it. Christmas is over for another year.

Our tree was trimmed, and the train around its base was a spectacular hit with the small humans.

There really is nothing like having children to bring the magic of Christmas to life again. We made sure to put out some food for Santa and his reindeer. He liked the wine, by all accounts.

We had a lovely Christmas Eve at our house - both our families, and all the kiddoes having a fabulous time in the pool. Christmas Day is a bit hectic with driving from one side of Brisbane to the other, so this is our way of kicking back and enjoying a slower more relaxed pace.

My refurbished cane setting was well-used. And the twinadoes had such a brilliant afternoon and evening with their cousins.

On Christmas morning the boys delighted in giving out our presents and tearing the wrapping off their own before heading off on our way.

And today we're off to the beach for a couple of weeks. I can't wait.

Christmas crafting et al

I can't believe Christmas is less than a week away! I'm not close to organised yet, but I'm strangely calm.

We've been having a lovely couple of weeks with some essential Christmas crafting:



We made a gingerbread house. Well, we decorated one. I'm lucky it survived to be honest. The boys were somewhat hyped up on all the lollies they kept shoving in their mouths, and didn't really grasp the concept of 'gentle', 'wait your turn', or 'let's make it pretty'...

I'm still decorating the house with christmas bits and pieces and decided to make use of the boys' blackboard, which takes up nearly a whole wall in the kitchen. I drew this for them while they slept one day, and you should have seen their faces when they woke and saw it!

The boys have been obsessed with letters and words recently, and can very easily read the letters out of any words they see. They can also read quite a few sight words, and have started wanting to know how to write. They wanted to know how to spell 'ho ho ho', so after I told them, they started scrawling it over every available surface! My beautiful tree was the first casualty.

And if you can't tell, the below is 'Lachlan', written by Lachlan, all by himself when I wasn't even looking. I turned around, and there it was. What a cutie pie!

It's been super hot here in Brisbane, so there has been a lot of this:

and this:

Kindy is finished for the year, so we whipped up these gifts for the boys' teachers. A little pot, a gardening glove, a packet of forget-me-nots, and a hand-stamped card with handmade chevron kraft paper envelope.

Good kindy photos too:

Our gardenias are out. I love them.

And I bought my Christmas Day dress.

Cane sofa refurb update

Yesterday was a fabulous day for painting. Dry air, a slight breeze, and warm but nothing like the 39 degrees we had earlier in the week.

I am so happy with how my street-side sofa find is working out so far. I adore the vibrant blue and while I also contemplated a french grey (which I'm sure would have been beautiful and elegant), I just couldn't go past this colour.

It still needs another coat and the poor thing has had a bit of a hard life. Some of the seat spindles (are they called spindles?) are missing, and although it still feels sturdy, I'm sure it's a slippery slope once a few go.  Just to be safe, I'm going to get a piece of ply cut to the seat size, paint it to blend in, and add the seat cushions on top.

Next stop; fabric shopping!

And here comes the Christmas train

Look what I found...

... on the SIDE OF THE ROAD.

I know!

I'm going to paint her turquoise to match my reburbished cane chair. I'm sure they'll be very happy together.

The first day of Christmas

We're a 'put the tree up on December first' family. So, yesterday was the day.

Here it is in all its [almost] monochromatic glory.

And here are some of my favourite ornaments. Hmm, some people don't like glitter and sequins. I'm not one of them! I don't think you can ever have too much silver, or too much glitter.

And look at that gorgeous teeny tiny train engine, complete with glittered wheels, of course. My boys are rather train obsessed, especially Hame.

I put some fairy lights in my kitchen. Why not have a prettily framed view if you can. Besides, if it's good enough for Nigella, it's good enough for me.

Rocky has also perfected his 'Gangnam Style' moves and has been busting them out all weekend. I filmed him, but unfortunately his dancefloor prowess has also coincided with a nudist phase, so there'll be no sharing here on the www. But if I can capture him doing it clothed, you can bet it will be here.

I'm procrastinating. I really am. We've had a 'welcome to summer' day to celebrate my lovely mother-in-law's birthday, spending the afternoon in our beautiful breezy garden with champagne and then hours splashing about in the pool with cousins, parents and siblings. It's been fabulous on this sweltering hot day. But now I should be working. In fact, I have three speeches to finish writing.

Ah, best get on with it then.

Christmas traditions and finding my sparkle

The lovely Amanda over at Homely One kickstarted my Christmas spirit this year.

I have been feeling decidedly un-Christmassy. I don't know why really. I think it's easy for Christmas to get all just a bit too much. Too much stuff, too much waste, too much expectation.

But after reading Amanda's post about family traditions, I started thinking about ours and slowly, but surely, that Christmas sparkle started to take hold. I realised that there is a lot to love about taking the time to share special moments and create memories.

These are the things I cherish:

• Putting up the tree, accompanied by champagne and Frank Sinatra
• The obligatory Santa photo
• Taking the boys into the city at night to see the big tree, the Christmas windows and to pick out their 'special' ornament. Each year they get a fancy schmancy one and when they eventually leave home (sniff), they will have a lifetime of beautiful decorations to take with them
• Watching the Carols by Candlelight and singing our lungs out
• Going to visit the Christmas Lights - there are some crazy people out there who do the most ridiculous things to their houses at Christmas time and I'm in the front row. I love seeing how bonkers people get for Christmas; it's sweet really
• Working out what Christmas baking I'm going to do and then enjoying a couple of full baking days with the boys. This year, my SIL and the boys' cousins are going to join in too
• Baking the Christmas ham on Christmas Eve and making an occasion of the first carving
• Finding one new 'what to do with leftover christmas ham' recipe each year to add to the repertoire
• Ham sandwiches! 
• Christmas crafts with the boys. This year, I've planned for them to make Christmas button collages and we're going to attempt a piece of artwork for each set of the grandparentals
• Getting a porcelain photo ornament for each of the boys made

The things I do just for me, really, are:

• Buying all the Christmas magazines and reading them slowly across the whole month
• Putting fairy lights all over the house and garden and flatly refusing to let anyone turn the overhead lights on. Ever. Some have said I'm slightly nuts when it comes to fairy lights.
• Indulging in some late night bubble baths, with bubbles of the champagne variety and my 'Christmas' book

And the things that T and I do together are:

• Wrapping the presents at night by fairy light (stupid idea really - can't see a bloody thing) and Christmas Carols
• Writing the boys a Christmas letter
• Sharing one special gift with each other on Christmas Eve with some bubbly after the boys are all tucked up in bed asleep 

There, I feel better already. Hello Christmas sparkle!

pic from pinterest here

From this....

... to this



... in the blink of an eye.

Letter to my babies: A moment of parenting paralysis

Boys,

Yesterday I had a profound 'I don't know what to do in this situation' parenting moment.

We were at our local Westfield, checking out the summer fashions, when you were both suddenly fixated - hypnotised even - by a very beautiful pair of pink glitter covered sandals. They were gorgeous. As if they wouldn't be. Pink. Glitter. As far as I'm concerned, you can never have too many sparkles.

Of course you wanted them. Why wouldn't you? They were shiny and pretty and fun and - most importantly - pink.  You adore pink. You love it with all your hearts. Especially you, Rocky.

And why shouldn't you have them? You are three. You have no idea or understanding of gender. I love that about you. I love that nothing in your world is distorted by society's - frankly quite bizarre - expectations of gender roles or socially constructed mores around behaviour for 'boys' and 'girls'.

But you know what? I didn't know what to do. I was very careful NOT to say "Oh no, they're for girls". But I was stuck. Honestly, truly, stuck. Because, actually, I don't have a problem with you wearing pink sparkly sandals if that's what you want to wear. I don't want to stifle your creativity. I don't want to create barriers around you when you're still learning about yourself and the world. And quite honestly, I think more people could benefit from feeling confident in their own tastes and their own choices, without worrying about what other people think.

I want you to learn that what you think about yourself is a whole load more important than what others think of you.

But I couldn't help acknowledge that if I did let you have them, other people would start on at you with all of that gendered rubbish. I could just hear voices saying "why are you wearing girls' shoes?" "oh you funny little boy wearing girls' shoes" or even worse, "what are you doing to your boys, letting them wear girls' shoes".

And then I thought that would be worse. Because you'd be hearing it constantly from other people in an environment that wouldn't allow your dad and me to explain it properly.

So I did all I could do. Reminded you that we were looking for shorts, not shoes, and bought you these - in all their proud pink glory :)

You haven't taken them off yet, and they're currently in the wash so you can wear them again tomorrow. I love you my little men. Boys can totally wear pink.

All the love in the universe,

Your mama

My Christmas wish-list

I have been eyeing off some rather spectacular things all year - my own little wish-list I guess.

I love this Anthropologie watch.

I'm lusting after some blue and white china. I adore it. My gorgeous Nana had the most beautiful blue and white china dinner service. I don't know where it ended up after she died. Having some of this in my house would remind me of her I think.

In fact, that whole vignette would be divine!

I'd love a big porcelain milk pitcher to use as a vase. If only I lived somewhere that peonies were in season for more than a fortnight!

I'm dying to get my hands on this.

And maybe a chevron ginger jar.

That's it really. Not much. Just some pretties. And my Donna Hay Mag subscription.