Tuesday, July 3, 2012


My uncle died this weekend. My mum's little brother. 

It wasn't unexpected - he has been ill for a long time - but yet it was. On the actual day that it happened, it took us all by surprise. Adrian was a stubborn bugger. He came so close to death so many times, but always managed to give it a big kick off. I'd almost lost track of the number of times the doctors said we should say our final goodbyes. Because it never was the last one.

I nearly didn't go to see him on Saturday in hospital. But there was something in my mum's voice that was different. She sounded sad. So very very sad.

Seeing him was a shock. I'd only seen him a week earlier, yet he'd aged a lifetime. He was so thin the blankets on his hospital bed had more volume than his body.

It's a particularly hard time for my mum. He's her little brother - a troubled soul - who she has always looked after. He has lived with her on and off since he was a teenager. His life has been a hard one. A very hard one. He made choices and decisions that alienated him from many people and left him with nothing and no-one. But my mum has always been there. She has been his primary carer, his nurse, for the past three years while he's been living at her house.

She's given up everything. Caring for him has meant so many sacrifices; her relationship, her job, her life. She is a saint.

They were great mates. 

I don't know how to support her. I'm cooking a lot. She has 'breatharian' tendencies at the best of times, so I'm not risking her not eating. I've made batches of quiche, and pasta, and curries. In food there is love and comfort. I hope it helps.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Jen, I'm so sorry to hear of your family's loss but glad you were able to see your uncle on Saturday. Your Mum sounds like a lovely, caring soul. It's funny, when I think of ways to help others, it often revolves around food too and in times when I've been on the receiving end, having a meal ready to just heat up has been SO welcomed. Cook your little heart out, your Mum will definitely appreciate the love that you've put into each meal x


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