Especially when you're sleeping

It's when my babies are sleeping that I am able to love them unencumbered, uncomplicated, unconflicted.

It's not a better love, or a deeper one, but it's a profoundly different one.

When they're asleep at night I know I've done the best I can do that day. It's finished now.

They've been nurtured and nourished. We've loved and learned. We've walked and talked, and practiced and perfected. There has been fresh air and freedom. Boundaries established and tested.

When they're awake I love them more than I can express, but I am always second-guessing my parenting: judging myself against their milestones. Have they eaten enough; fine-tuned their motor skills enough; said enough words; had enough fresh air; socialised enough; learned enough; loved enough? Are they happy?

But when they're asleep, and they're lying there in their cots with their eyelashes closed against those perfect soft cheeks, I know we've all achieved another day. Any mistakes I've made are forgotten. That intensity of love that they are soley responsibly for igniting in me flares louder. And I just love them. That's all - and everything.