Dream chasing

Where did January go? I forgot to get organised. But it's more important than ever that I do. I have 7 months of maternity leave left. In another lifetime that would have sounded like forever, but in this one, I know it will pass in the blink of an eye.

The thing is, I do.not.want.to.go.back.to.work. As in, back to the office, all day. But I need to earn money. Unfortunately I am not independently wealthy (bugger it), and while we're doing just fine right now, the maternity pay will run out, and things will be tougher.

So, I need a plan. And as someone who in a former life makes money from strategic planning, I ought to be able to do this, right? Somehow it's always more difficult when it's your own life. And, when - like me - you're slightly risk averse.

I have some options. I could try to get some freelance consulting work. I could very easily help small businesses to get their marketing strategies off the ground. I could work with them on business planning. I could do some press releases, write some marketing pieces, that kind of thing. But where do the clients come from? I don't have the time at the moment to really get out there and pound the pavement for work.

What do I really want to do? I'd love to make a real go of it with millinery. At the moment I do no marketing or advertising or other 'salesy' stuff, and I still manage to get orders almost weekly. I'd love to do it properly. After all, the racing carnivals happen every spring and winter, and women get married every week.

To do it properly, I'd need a stack of supplies, a steamer, a website, tags, labels, packaging, product photography, some cash for a bit of advertising / promotion, and - this is the main thing - some guts to get out there and get some stockists. Oh, and a loan. Not much. I could probably get everything I need for about $5K, and most of that would go on a website (oh, how I wish I had skills in that area).

Can I afford to take the risk? Can I really borrow cash to do something that feels a bit self-indulgent? What happens if it doesn't work out and then I've wasted time and still owe someone somewhere money.

But what if I don't? I'd hate to have that kind of regret. I want to be a good role model to my boys. I want them to be surrounded by strong women who are brave enough to chase their dreams and create some financial independence. And of course, working at home would give me the flexibility I need to raise my boys the way I want to.

So *gulp* February is decision time. It's now or never. Am I just chasing rainbows, or can I really do this?

Wish me luck.