What a whirlwind

Where have the past three weeks gone??

I can't believe my little darlings are three weeks old already. I can't believe the fierce intensity of my love for them. I can't believe how much I would do for them, how far I would go for them. They are the centre of my universe.

The past three weeks have been such a whirlwind that I can barely keep my head straight. Hamish had respiratory distress syndrome, so had to have some help with breathing in his first few days so was in a higher level of intensive care than Lachie. Having them separated for their first five days really tore at my heart.

Then they both developed jaundice and got to have a little bake under the phototherapy lights. Hamish only needed a night, but poor little Lachie was under for four days. And he hated almost every minute of it. He kept pulling his little sunglasses off, causing me to worry that his little tiny eyes would be damaged.

Then Lachie developed a digestive problem and for a few days had horrible bile and blood in his stomach. He didn't seem too concerned by it though, but apparently the phototherapy lights make little ones very lethargic, so it was probably lucky he was under those at the same time or we might have had a distressed little one on our hands.

Once those problems cleared up, the boys really started going fantastically well. They have put on loads of weight, with Lachie now weighing 1.94kg and Hamish at 2.16kg!! All we're waiting on now is the feeding. They're still a bit too small to suck feed at every third hourly feed time. They can generally do two feeds, but run out of puff for the next one. So until they build up enough stamina to be able to eat enough regularly enough, they'll remain in the nicu.

I miss them so much when I'm not at the hospital with them. It's heartbreaking to leave each night, but it is slowly getting easier. Getting used to the new sleeping schedule is difficult too. Because the boys are in hospital, I have to express my breast milk. Every two hours. Day and night. Except for one four hour break overnight. I know all mums are sleep deprived, so I'm not complaining. In fact, I like being able to provide something so important for them, but it is taking some getting used to.

So that's a quick summary. They are gorgeous little men. I love them so much. We hope to have them home soon.

Welcome to the world Lachlan and Hamish

Hamish Charles born at 9.11am on 09/09/09, weighing 1.46 kg
Lachlan Edward born at 9.12am on 09/09/09, weighing 1.23kg
- born at 34 weeks, and currently in NICU but doing very well -

Letter to my boys on the day of their birth - part 1

[Part 1. 6.25am, 09/09/09]

Well, my darlings, the day has arrived!!

You are officially 34 weeks and 1 day old and today is the day your daddy and I will finally lay our eyes on you for the first time.

We have been so excited about this moment for so long it feels like forever. We have been eagerly anticipating this day since the minute we knew you existed.

Your daddy and I have spent countless hours talking to each other about how wonderful it's going to be when you arrive, imagining how wonderful our family is going to be with you both in it, and we can't believe that in only a couple of hours time we'll have you in our arms. We barely spent a wink last night because we were so excited.

We love you so much, and can't wait to see you very very soon.

All the love in the universe
Your Mama


[Part 2]

Oh, my darling darling babies. You're here. And you're beautiful. I love you so much. You're so so tiny. Much smaller than we were expecting, but you're perfect. We're all going to be in hospital for a little bit longer than we thought, but everything is going to be ok. Grow my tiny ones.

I love you more than I ever knew I could. Nothing could have prepared me for the intensity. It took my breath away. I loved you so much, so instantly, that for a second I couldn't breathe.

Welcome to the world darling ones.

Your Mama

It's Tuesday and I can't wait....

....09/09/09....

for tomorrow!!

I'm finally going to get to meet my little boys. In less than 24 hours I will be a first-time mama to two little darlings who I have loved since before they even existed.

And what a cool birthdate: 09/09/09!!

to play along, go to http://buttonsbyloulou.blogspot.com/2009/09/its-tuesday-and-i-cant-wait_08.html

The baby shower was divine!

M baby shower was abosulutely perfect! The weather was gorgeous, sunlight dappled down through the ancient fig trees, the garden at the front of the hospital had been conveniently freshly planted and mulched and more than 40 of my girlfriends showed up to celebrate with me.

My mama, sisters and mother-in-law all did such a beautiful job of keeping it pretty, catered, and fun. And my gorgeous friend Megan was superwoman when it came to keeping on top of the guest list and administering a rather cohesive gift list. What a lucky girl I am to have such wonderful friends.

Even the lollies, cupcakes, and presents were colour-coordinated!!

And while, for so long, I had it all mapped out in my head to be held at home with crystal stemware, fine bone china, etc etc, it ended up being even more perfect than I could have imagined. And doesn't that just prove that it's your family and friends that make special occasions so special. I love them all.

Here are some happy snaps!

And remember those origami cranes? Well, instead of a signed guest book, I had all my family and friends write little messages on the wings of the cranes, and I'm going to string them into a hanging mobile for over the change table. Photos to come!!

2 sleeps to go!!!!

Only 2 sleeps until I meet my little darling boys!!! I just can't believe it. I'm so ridulously excited, slightly nervous (I'm going to have to have a c-section), and a bit overwhelmed at what it's going to be like with my babies in the NICU.

The three of us have been having daily foetal heart monitoring and umbilical cord flow scans every other day or so for a week now. One of my little ones is very little, and unfortunately isn't getting everything he needs. Technically they're calling this "impaired placental bloodflow with increased resistance". And the poor little mite's heartrate has been dropping quite low with each contraction that I have, so the consensus is that he's under a bit too much stress and will be better off out than in!

They will be 34 weeks gestation, and I've been having steroid injections to help with their lung maturity, so we're not expecting any major problems relating to their prematurity aside from needing to 'fatten up' a bit.

What an amazing journey this pregnancy has been! And what an even more amazing journey is about to begin!

Bring it on :)

#14. Be a gracious guest

When you are invited to a gathering or party be sure to never turn up empty-handed. Always take along something for the host to show your appreciation. It doesn't have to be lavish. A bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers is plenty.

It's Tuesday and I can't wait....

...to head outside for my first lungful of yummy spring air!

The weather has been glorious up here in Brisbane, but because I've been cooped up for so long, it's been ages since I felt the warm air on my skin, heard birds, felt the sun, or took a long deep breath of fresh fresh air.

I'm heading out in my wheelchair soon, and I CANNOT WAIT!!

to play along, visit Lou Lou at her blog here: http://buttonsbyloulou.blogspot.com/2009/09/its-tuesday-and-i-cant-wait.html

The Belly Diaries - 33 weeks

[photo to come]

You're still hanging in there boys! Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

But the hugest news of this week is that we are all going to be seeing each other for the first time next week!! On Wednesday - 09/09/09! You will be 34 weeks and 1 day. Daddy and I can't wait to meet you.

We've all had some more tests this week, and my little one, your umbilical cord is having a few problems. There is a bit of a blockage, which means that all that lovely blood, oxygen and nutrition you need to keep growing is finding it a little difficult to get to you. This means that you're not growing as much as we'd all like, so the doctors all agree that the best course of action is to let you both make your grand entrance a little earlier than expected so that we can make sure you get all the stuff you need to grow big and strong.

Mama's friend Rachel had her little twin girls this week, and they were born at the age you are now. They are doing very very well, breathing on their own, and learning how to eat. I have been down to the special care nursery to visit them, and they are just beautiful. I am sure you boys and Moleigh and Leeyah will be friends.

On Saturday, about 35 or so of Mama's good girlfriends are coming to the hospital to visit us and to celebrate your pending arrival! I'll make sure I get lots and lots of photos so that when you're older you can look back and see all the love that is already surrounding you.

Not long to go now my darlings. We can't wait to hold you. We love you so much.

Your Mama