Wednesday weirdness #2

I can't sit down at my desk to concentrate on work if there is mess in my line of sight. I am one of those people who need a clean, calm environment in order for my brain to work. If something is bugging me, I *have* to fix it before I can be even vaguely productive.

Unfortunately I am easily distracted, and a queen of procrastination.

I also have two one year olds and my work space is in the same area as the playroom. It's never, ever tidy.

This is generally therefore a gigantic problem.

I race around like an idiot trying to clean up, but then feel like I ought to be working, so race back to the computer, only to be completely unable to do anything until 'that thing, right there, taunting me', is put away, only to realise it's a bigger job than I thought, so go back to the computer instead... and so on.

I'm sure it must be hilarious - and perhaps a little frightening - to watch.

Learning

The little men are learning so much, so quickly.

Hamish has learned 'ta', and he is adorable. Every time we make eye contact with him he is proffering something up saying 'ta' in the most beautiful little voice. He hands it over very seriously (sometimes - other times he really isn't interested in letting it got) and then holds his hand out to get it back, "ta".

And sometimes he just barrels head-long into Lach, clocks him one, steals his toy, and then looks up with huge shining angelic eyes smiling, and whispers "ta".

The Rock-Star has started standing un-aided.

He starts by holding on to something - usually the sofa and warms up with a few laps, getting faster and faster. He stops, suddenly, and lets go holding both hands up like he's surrendering before falling onto his tiny little bum giggling.

Funny, adorable little men.

An emerald green frock

I don't watch Cold Case. There's no particular reason for it, it's just never been on my radar.

However, a while ago (a month? maybe two?) I was flicking channels and stopped in my tracks. There was a blonde woman, at a wedding, wearing one of the most beautiful frocks I have ever seen.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. In fact, I went online and searched everything I could think of to find out what it was, who designed it, where I could get it. No luck. So I stopped thinking about it (except when I see anything emerald green in a store window!)

Then, a week or so later, a wedding invitation arrived in the mail. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

I need this dress. I NEEEEEEEED it. Where oh where can I buy you most beautiful frock I've seen in a very long time?

Wednesday weirdness #1

I was just hanging my washing out, something that is a source of great hilarity to my family and friends.

I have this thing about pegs. They have to match. I can't hang something out with two different pegs. Physically cannot do it.

Sometimes T hangs things out with un-matching pegs just to see my reaction.

And react, I do.

freakoutalittleandcan'tstopmyselffromfixingit.

Yes, I have been known to unpeg and rehang an entire line of washing because of mis-matched pegs. Something that, you know, is an efficient use of all those spare hours I have in my day at the moment.

I have tried to address this issue by buying pegs that are identical. Same size, same colour. Do you know how hard it is to buy packs of single colour pegs (well aside from the wooden ones that just don't last the distance)? Impossible.

There's an idea!

Dreaming of...

.... a long luxurious bath: just me and Jo Malone, some tunes, candles and champagne. ah bliss.

FRIDAY PRIDE DAY

I give myself a really hard time. I don't realise how much I expect of myself, and this week it took a mini-meltdown and an honest talk from T to understand that it's not healthy or helpful.

I think we all expect too much of ourselves, and spend too much time wrestling with guilt and worth.

So, I've decided that instead of wasting precious energy worrying and feeling guilty about all the things I haven't managed to achieve, I am going to celebrate the things I have.

They might not be huge things, but I'm happy I managed them.

1. I wrote half an annual report this week for my client, and it's good. They're really really happy with it, and I feel proud of it.

2. I've cooked something for dinner every night this week!

So there you go. Two things I am proud of this week.

Maybe something this little each week might help.

I, for one, feel better already. And hey, it's Friday!!

#29 Don't bite off more than you can chew

it will only cause you to feel incapable and guilty - and neither of those are worth wasting your precious energy on.

It's the small things

Someone asked me the other day what it was about our house that made me want to buy it.

I know I should have said things about land size and aspect and rooflines and proximity to things.

But can I tell you a secret? There were two main things:

It's in a street called Princess.

And there is a specially built room for clothes and shoes. A shoe room! I've always wanted one of those :)

A perfect weekend

photography by the very talented Katie Walker-Smith

A whole year old

Hamish, my darling baby

I adore you with every breath in my body. You are such a special treasure. With your bottomless eyes, your special smile, your gentle way and your generous nature.

You are a darling. That's the best word to describe you. You really are. You are so enamoured with life. Everything delights you. Your eyes are constantly lit with joy -so visible that it brings tears to mine.

You are such a happy little chappy. You are generous with your love and your cuddles. You bring smiles and love to everyone you meet.

Just yesterday, at the park, a woman and her little girl walked by - you gave them such big smiles that she said "hello you gorgeous happy little boy". And you are.

You've come a long way too. When you were first born, you had respiratory distress syndrome, so had to be ventilated. Your poor little lungs just weren't quite ready for the job of breathing for you, so you needed a little help. It wasn't for long, but there were 4 days at the beginning of your tiny life when you were in a higher level of ICU than Lachie. And even then, when you were only hours old, we could see how gentle and calm you were.

Your mama and daddy love you so much that sometimes - just for a millisecond - we can't breathe. It's so overwhelming - this love we have for you - that we sometimes wonder what we did to deserve the ridiculous amount of happiness that we feel.

As ever, my darling angel boy, all the love in the universe
Your Mama

Darling Lachlan

Could I love you any more? I don't think so. But every day I'm so surprised, because I do.

You are such a cheeky, entertaining, joyous, mischevious little boy.

And you are all of a sudden a little boy. You have so much spark, and so much independence. Nothing baby-ish about you anymore -except when you're tired and you snuggle in for special cuddles. You'll alway be my baby.

You're our intrepid explorer. Nothing is off-limits. Every corner, table, sofa, bench, cupboard is a wonderland waiting to be discovered.

You learn so quickly. You repeat songs back to us, you clap when we clap. You love clapping so much - it totally rocks your world. You get so excited and laugh so much that you literally topple over. Adorable.

You have come so far in a year, littlest one. From a tiny little baby who had stopped growing in-utero at 28 weeks gestation, with umbilical cord problems, born prematurely at only 2 pounds something and with a bleeding stomach, to a vibrant, cheeky darling boy who is so tall you're nearly off the charts, and with a personality even bigger.

As for your mama and daddy, well we've come a long way too. Our first year of being parents has been the most wonderful time of our lives. We didn't really know how much capacity we had for loving you. We didn't know how happy it was possible to be. Our hearts are so full of love that sometimes it actually aches.

I couldn't be more proud of you my amazing, strong, determined little scamp.

As ever, all the love in the universe
Your Mama

#28 Patience really is a virtue

this is one I'm still working on too :)

Oh dear, the cake(s)

I am officially the world's worst cake decorator.

I tried. I really did. I did a "practice cake" so that on Friday night when I need to get the world's most important first birthday cakes made, it's not a mad rush, panic and disaster.

It was worse than I expected. I didn't think it would look like one of those magazine cakes, but I had a vision in my head, only it failed to manifest on my cake.

It should have been simple - cut cake into 'kite' shape, ice with buttercream (smooth of course - aha, downfall 1), divide cake into 4 kite segments with licorice strips (which refused to stay straight and instead curved off in the most ridiculous fashion), pour hundreds and thousands into opposite segments (and not spill any into the other segments - hmmmm).

Sounds easy. WAS NOT. Oh dear. And I'm making two! (I have twin sisters who both said to me almost the minute I announced I was expecting twins - "whatever you do, you have to give them their own birthday cakes!" - sounds like childhood trauma to me!)

Now it's too late to get them made, plus I have that whole "it's their first birthday, I'm their mama, I should make their cakes' thing going on.

I'm sure there are tricks I don't know about. I'm sure patience is one of them. Please find me patience...!

xx

The weekend, briefly

First Father's Day (so special), yummy breakfast, lots of cuddles, and some new pieces of furniture