from me to mum

The twinadoes do GOMA

2012-01-30T14:23:00.001+10:00

That duck got a really good stickering

So exciting!

Tapping away furiously. Serious button-presser, this kid.

And not a surface left un-stuck!

2012 is the year ...

2012-01-30T13:33:00.000+10:00

...to get a few things done!

2011 was busy. Really really busy.Work busy. immie&ollie kept growing, my PR consulting continued, and I launched a brand new national magazine with a friend and now business partner.

In 2012, I want to get some things done for our home that I've been wanting to do for some time:

Bedhead! We're getting one. It will be upholstered and beautiful. I'm pinning like crazy to my pinterest board.
Bedroom walls. They will be painted. A cloudy / dusky / grey-ish blue. I might even stencil a pattern on the wall behind our bedhead. Lattice? Chevron? Not sure exactly what just yet, but it will be subtle.
Dining room. The walls will be overhauled. I can't decide between wallpaper and paint, but we're getting some drama in there.
Enrolling the boys in school. I cannot believe we haven't done this. They are nearly 2.5 and we haven't put their names down on a single list. We haven't been able to resolve where we'd like to send them, and because there are two of them, it's quite an expensive endeavour to put their names down at lots of schools. Some charge $450 (that's $900 right there. For ONE school waiting list. Bam! Just like that.) But at this rate we'll be home-schooling them, so we'd better sort it out.
The five year plan. I've probably spent the past 5 years coming up with all sorts of dreams for the future. If I'd nailed them down and started working towards them, I'd be well on my way to something now. So, a five year plan will be the start.

5 projects will do. That's plenty for the year. If I can achieve these things, alongside keeping everyday life ticking over, I will be a happy woman.

My daily happiness project is awesome too. So far, I've enjoyed brewing a pot of tea and drinking it slowly by a window in the rain, hung fairy lights everywhere, worn a full length tutu, had a long luxurious bath with a glass of champagne, had a pedicure, snuggled my babies for way longer than they wanted to be snuggled - similarly, husband, and lots of other tiny little things that I normally wouldn't pay much attention to.

My happiness project

2012-01-18T22:36:00.003+10:00

I have decided to start my own personal happiness project.

It's not that I'm not happy; far from it in fact. I am - on the whole - a really happy, cheerful person. I'm well aware of how blessed my life is, and how lucky I am.

But hey, who couldn't do with a bit more happiness in their lives? I want to reflect at the end of each day and have something to smile at. I want to make memories. And on those bad days we all occasionally have, I want something that puts it all into perspective.

So, today I decided that I'm going to consciously do one thing every day that makes me happy.

Big or small, inconsequential or important, it doesn't matter.

Just something that makes me smile :)

This is something that made me smile today. Votives, wrapped in doilies and twine. On their first practice run for our tenth wedding anniversary party next weekend. I love them. I'm happy.

My babies are two

2011-09-11T21:49:00.000+10:00

My darling Hamish, you are two years old. A little boy. But still my baby.

There are some things about you that I think will never change; your gentle nature, infectious smile, enthusiastic giggle, bottomless eyes, and kindness.

And then every day you accomplish something new and I love you even more again.

You love cuggles and kisses, which you say with the most adorable lisp. You wrap your arm around my neck like you never want to let go. You love your 'Grocky' and you're always angling for a hug with him. When you're sitting side by side, you're always touching. Hands, feet, arms, legs. You're so entwined with each other. It's amazing.

You love to run. Whenever there's an open space, you stop - just for a second - and then a huge grin spreads across your face and you're off!

I hope you're always smiling, running, laughing and loving, my angel boy.

All the love in the universe,
Your mama

Oh Rocky. You are one special little man. You've started narrating your life. It starts the instant you wake up, "ooh, I woked up! I woked up mummy!" And it doesn't stop until you close those beautiful eyes at night.

You are exceptionally enthusiastic about most things. You say "oooooh, niiiiiice" a lot. You tell us "oh no, rocky did get a boo boo - kiss it bedda mummy". The way you speak literally takes my breath away.

You love your 'Ahmy' and you can't relax unless you know he's ok. If you get a drink of water, you need to know he has one too. If you get some berries, you won't start eating until he's happily munching on his. You make sure he has his hat and his sunscreen, and you like to say 'nigh nigh' to him before you go to sleep.

I can't believe you're 2 years old, my little miracle baby. What a blessed two years it has been. I'm one lucky mama.

As always, all the love in the universe,
Your mama

And some snaps from the 'Rainbows, teepees, and superheros' party !

Letter to my babies - 22-23 months

2011-08-30T22:09:00.004+10:00

Hello boys, my goodness time goes quickly.

Your daddy and I were just remembering how you used to say "pickabook" Rocky for "book": mama used to ask you everyday to go and pick a book, and you thought that's what a book was called. It was so adorable. Now you not only know it's a "book", you call them by their full names.

And Hame, you used to call a biscuit a "bweh" and grapes "ahple" because you thought they were little apples. You would say "mama, ahple ahple ahple". Now you say "mummy grep ples".

You both talk like big kids - in full sentences, and with words I didn't realise you'd be able to get your little mouths around.

Mama has a beautiful necklace that is a circle with your names stamped on it. You both love it. You know your names are on it, and you call it "mummy's special circle". I didn't know you'd be able to say those sounds all in a row. You surprise me every single day. You can repeat absolutely anything, and you love learning new words.

You're still both champion sleepers, although we had a couple of weeks there when you discovered you could get up and out of your beds yourselves. Rocky, you would just appear from nowhere with a giggle and a "hiii, hello".

Hamey, we used to find you curled up on the floor amongst your toys and spare sheets you pulled out from the drawer under your bed - like you made yourself a little nest.

Rock, you LOVE red. Really really really love red. You insist on wearing "Rocky's red hat, rocky's red sirt (shirt), rocky's red soos (shoes)". Every.single.day. You are an intense little boy. You're energetic, full-on, noisy, clever, and ohsocute.

Hamey, you're a lot more easy-going when it comes to your wardrobe, but you do love blue. Whenever you see something blue you point and say "Ahmy bwoo", and when you see red you say "Grocky wred". You are still an angelic little boy, although, you have a touch of the stealth bomber in you. You're a little comic darling.

I love you, my baby boys - to the moon and back and forever.

All the love in the universe,

Your mama

What a few weeks

2011-07-25T21:38:00.004+10:00

Far out the last few weeks have been a whirlwind. There has been so much going on in our usually quite calm and predictable lives.

Poor little Hame contracted an awful respiratory virus and ended up in hospital. There's nothing worse than seeing your baby attached to tubes and drips and oxygen. He is such a gorgeous gentle soul - aside from the obvious physical signs of him struggling to breathe, there was no indication he wasn't well. He wasn't whingey, or clingy, or upset. If anything, he was more delightful than ever. Is that even possible? He is an angel-child. He really really is. We are so blessed to have him in our lives. I think he must be here to teach me something. He's not even two, but he has this inner joy. It lights him up from the inside, and everyone who knows him - or even meets him - feels it too. It's remarkable.

I snapped some pics of him during his hospital stay, and looking back on them makes my chest feel tight. The poor little boy.

I also didn't see my Rocky for nearly three days. I thought my heart had been torn from my chest. I didn't realise until that week, up there in hospital with Hamish, that it was the longest period of time in their whole lives that we'd been apart.

My mum and my MIL who took care of Rocky while I was staying with Hamish said he kept asking for him: "Mish, where?", "Mummy, where?".

But the reunion was so beautiful. Rocky screamed 'Missssh, Misssssh' and was so excited that he ran around in a couple of circles and then crash tackled him to the floor in a huge cuddle. Over the next couple of days I would just find them sitting really closely next to one another. They make my heart smile those two. Darlings.

Then, in a complete about face, we had something incredibly positive and exciting happen. immie&ollie was interviewed for a tv show! (!!!!!!!!!) It was so exciting and nerve-wracking all at once. We're going to air on 21 August on The Great South East, a Channel 7 show.

Here are some behind-the-scenes shots :)

Ten years on and so so grateful for my beautiful life

2011-07-14T16:21:00.007+10:00

Today is exactly 10 years to the date that I underwent a mammoth 17 hour operation to remove a mass on my brainstem that I could have died from.

In fact, exactly 10 years ago, I would have been still in the operating theatre with so many surgeons they must have been getting in each other's way :)

I have no idea how my family and T coped while I was under. What on earth must they have been thinking and doing for 17 hours, awhile waiting on razor's edge to hear if I'd made it, or if I'd be paralysed.

I'd been lying in the hospital bed for so long already, just waiting for the surgical team to figure out how to do what needed to be done. I had a complex cervical spine, and they had to have it modelled into perfectly scaled 3D to work out just how exactly to go about the surgery. I was scared, and the night before the operation, I tried to change the surgeon's mind. I did my best persuasive job, explaining that I was absolutely convinced I could go back to my normal life, just being hyper-careful to not move my head too much. "Do I really have to have this operation? What will happen if I don't?", I asked him. "You might die." I don't think I'll ever forget that.

I also tried to tell my darling T that this was just all too much for any young relationship to bear, and I couldn't be a burden on him. I told him that I loved him, but I couldn't stay with him if I ended up paralysed because I couldn't steal his life and his love and his potential like that. I knew that our life wouldn't ever fulfil any of the dreams we'd had and we wouldn't be able to have the adventures we'd planned. I wouldn't be able to have any children. I was in tears telling him that I needed to go into theatre knowing that it was all settled and agreed. He wouldn't have a bar of it. I'll always remember he told me that he had no expectations about his future other than having me in it, and we would make our own way and our own life with what life threw at us.

I survived that surgery, had a very long hospital stay, and a lot of 'attachments' for a long time. I developed infections that needed IV antibiotics through a PICC line for just under 6 months. This is me about a month after the surgery, still in hospital and doing a happy dance because I was able to stand up on my own:

This is me 6 months to the day later - my wedding day. I was determined to walk down the aisle that day. And I did.

10 years. A decade. A lifetime. I'm a lucky lucky girl, and I have so much to be grateful for. Here are just three of them:

The twin mum guilts

2011-06-24T21:31:00.004+10:00

The twin mum guilts are something that every mum of multiples will understand.

I remember when I was pregnant with the boys, I was so worried that I wouldn't have enough love for two babies. That I wouldn't have enough capacity for snuggles with two babies. That I wouldn't be able to equally share my time between two babies.

The instant they were born, those anxieties faded away. Mothers have a remarkable ability to create maternal love from nowhere. It roars to life like nothing I've ever experienced. Since the second I first laid eyes on them, I have had more capacity to love than I ever knew was possible.

It's only been on the very rare occasion that one has been super needy or ill that that little doubt about not sharing my love equally has popped its head up. But I'm extremely pragmatic most of the time. Even if there is a day when one baby needs more attention than the other, I know it will even out in the end. They'll go through phases. Life is swings and roundabouts.

But recently, I have had some serious bouts of twin mum guilt. I was driving home from the shops the other day - a sparkly gorgeous perfect winter day - and saw lots of very chic mamas out and about pushing their babies. Designer prams. Swishy shiny ponytails. Designer gym gear. Designer sunnies.

I drove past a playground, and there they all were again. Pushing their babies on the swings, catching them at the bottom of the slide, chasing them through the fields.

And it hit me like a bulldozer. I can't do this with my boys. I used to be able to - back when they were lighter and didn't move as much. But it's just not possible anymore. Firstly, I live in an old inner city suburb that is very hilly. I literally cannot push twins and the twin pram up and down them. Not without doing myself significant harm, at least.

Secondly, I can't take them to the park on my own. It's two against one. It seems that at the exact same time one tries to play frogger with the traffic, the other thinks it's an awesome idea to superman off the top of the jungle gym.

And I know - I could drive somewhere flatter to walk. I could ask someone to come to the park with me. But all of that takes so much coordination. Well in advance. And I do. But on those days when we just want to get out on a whim - that's when it stings. And that's when I feel the most guilt.

But my pragmatic side says at least they always have a playmate - even if it is at home; that it won't be long until they understand not to run onto the road or jump off the slide; and we're lucky we have a lovely big back garden that we have just filled with lots of lovely toys and play equipment.

And then I look at photos like these ones and I am pretty sure everything is going to be ok.

On a semi-related note - they totally love each other. They've started giving each other a kiss and a cuddle goodnight. It is the most heart-warming beautiful thing I have ever had the privilege of witnessing. My babies are divine.

Wash, dry, fold, repeat

2011-06-16T23:48:00.006+10:00

I hate doing laundry. Hate it. Pathologically. If I didn't prefer wearing clean clothes to dirty ones (or for the health hazards that might eventually accompany such a lifestyle choice), I think I'd find reasons to never do it ever again.

I have actually offically given up the iron. I refuse to do it. I'm useless at it, I hate doing it, and I don't see why I should have to do something I really really don't want to do when there are perfectly acceptable alternatives. T's work shirts go to the drycleaner. They all have french cuffs, so there's no way I can be trusted with those.

I also buy clothes that don't need ironing. Unfortunately this means I tend to wear a lot of Bonds yoga pants.... but whatever works, right?

I've become an excellent excellent pegger. Whenever I'm hanging out the washing and wishing it would be over, I just remind myself how much I hate ironing (waaay more than I hate pegging) and remember that good pegging can practically eliminate the need to ever get that iron out.

And if I really really really have to iron something, then I either try to arrange it for when my mum is visiting (ha!), or I take it to the dry cleaners. If it's an absolute emergency and there is truly nothing I can do about it, I bribe T :)

So why am I finding myself googling 'laundry design'??? I must be mad. Or not. Regardless of how much I hate doing it, it must be done. So why not make it as streamlined as possible. I'm sure that part of the reason I find it so tiresome currently is because nothing has a home. I have piles of clean and dirty washing on the floor. The baskets are never where I need them. I don't realise when I've run out of powder. I can never put my hand on a coathanger and have to run up and down the stairs until I finally have everything I need.

A little bit of organisation can't hurt, right?

Enter the Ikea Antonius Wall Upright. It's not going to win any beauty contests, but it's inoffensive. It has hanging space, and folding space, and storage space and basket space.

Off to Ikea I go!

The weight game

2011-06-16T08:35:00.004+10:00

The boys need to put on weight. They are tiny little dots- not surprising given their birth sizes - but they've fallen off the bottom of the percentile chart.

Part of me wants to say chart shmart. The other part of me desperately wants to get them up there on it.

They've never been well and truly on it. You can't when you are born at only a couple of pounds. But they have managed to reach about the 5th percentile at various points in the past nearly two years.

But now that they're running around, you can see that they're little. They still haven't reached 10kg, which is apparently average for a one year old. They still wear size 0 clothes or 9-12 months.

Their GP has me adding butter and cream to food. We're attempting to add avocado with varying levels of success, and we're also supplementing their diet with sustagen, which isn't going down that well. I can't seem to hide it well enough, and they sniff it out before it gets anywhere near their mouths!

I know they have a whole lifetime ahead of them to grow. But nonetheless it's still stressful. I think so much of it is to do with them being premature and VLBW. They had intrauterine growth restriction and were born at the size of a baby at about 28-29 weeks gestation. So much of their first year - and particularly the first few months - was focused on how much weight they were gaining. It's hard to break the habit of constantly keeping a watchful eye on it.

I'm sure that if I had delivered full term twins with no size concerns I wouldn't have the slightest idea what they currently weigh.

But I'm working on it. They're happy and they're healthy. Surely that's as good an indicator as anything :)

Lessons learned from travelling long-haul with twin toddlers #1

2011-06-15T08:04:00.002+10:00

DVDs are of no use if your children don't understand what headphones are for

Big boy bed

2011-06-02T13:41:00.003+10:00

My baby Hamish has graduated from his cot and into his junior bed *sob*. What happened to my baby???? He looks so grown up lying there. Overnight he's 3/4 the length of his cot. How did I not see that before now?

I had no intention of transitioning them into beds any time soon. Nuh uh. No way. I need sleep, and they are fabbo sleepers (6pm - 7am without fail, every night!!). I have been way too worried that they wouldn't be able to resist the midnight play-together. And until this week, they hadn't really shown any definite signs of being ready.

But then Hamish scaled the side of his cot and fell out onto his head. So the decision was no longer mine. And in one fell swoop my baby became a little boy.

It's been remarkably easy so far with no issues yet: no falls; no getting up and down all night; and no being frightened of his new environment. I'm sure it helps that it's actually still his cot - just with the side off and the toddler rail on. I've also kept him in his sleeping bag because he has such a strong sleep association with it. In fact, when he isn't in his bag, he is up and down all over his bed, but the minute his bag is zipped up, he snuggles in with his blankie and his elmo and he's off!

Rocky is still in his cot, and I think we'll keep it that way for a while. He's definitely a 'get-up-er all-night-er' - I can sense it!

Oh, my baby!!! He'll always be my baby.

19 - 20 months

2011-05-30T08:12:00.008+10:00

My darling Hamish,

You've had a big couple of months! Overseas adventures, your first long-haul plane ride, lots and lots of growing!

You travelled like a total superstar and didn't skip a beat.

You are such a special little boy. Always so happy. Smiling. Laughing. Snuggling. Singing. Playing. Hiding.

One of the most gorgeous things you do is to hide behind something - usually a long curtain - and then pop out to say 'Boo'! You giggle your little head off, and could do it all day long.

You're happiest when you're surrounded by other children (you call them all babies) to play with. You like to give them all a big cuddle.

You wave hello and goodbye at literally everyone you see. They all love you too. You just have a gorgeous way of bringing out the soft side of everyone. Your happiness is so innocent and so genuine that no-one can resist.

You didn't mind when hundreds of people wanted to take your photo when we were in Europe. Everywhere we went people stopped to take your photo and you thought it was so exciting making all these new friends!

You love slippery slides, Tiny Tots, snuggles, grapes, sultanas, smelling flowers (and picking them for Mama!), and jumping. Your hair is growing as well - finally!

I love you my darling one.

All the love in the universe,

Your Mama

Ah Rocky, you are a scalliwag.

You are noisy, and demanding and utterly adorable. You talk all the time - from the minute you wake up "Mummy, I woke up, Bag - off!, Wiggles, DVD, Milk, MIILLKKKK, toast!" to the minute you go to sleep "Bag - on, milk, bed, night night".

You're into everything, and if I didn't witness it with my own two eyes I wouldn't believe it was possible for such chaos and havoc to be generated by one tiny human!

You love cuddling and you love Hamish. You are always looking out for him. If I give you your water cup, you immediately say "Water, Mish?" and make sure he has his. If we're getting your pyjamas on you need to know that Mishy has his as well. I think you might say "Mish" than any other word. You know he's your special brother and you tell everyone "Mish - brudder".

You learn words so quickly and delight in them. When we were on our big overseas adventure you loved to tell everyone you were in "Nurmany" or "Como" or "Caris". You learned how to say 'Ciao' and 'Bonjour', and made so many people laugh with your gigantic personality wrapped up in that tiny little body!

I love you monkey - you are hilarious.

All the love in the universe,

Your mama

It's been very quiet around here

2011-05-20T19:16:00.004+10:00

but I have a good excuse: we've been on a wonderful family holiday in Europe for the past month!

We had such a wonderful time, but I don't remember feeling this jetlagged on previous occasions. The boys must be a bit jetlagged too I think, because we're having some very rare middle-of-the-night wakeups. But considering they didn't skip a beat the entire holiday, and even slept the whole way home on the plane for us, I think we'll survive :)

I will give more details in coming posts - including my top tips for travelling long-haul with toddlers - but in the meantime, here is a pic of my Mother's Day - spent in Paris (squeal), in our own gorgeous very Parisian apartment on the Ile-Saint-Louis (super squeal), with the three most important boys in my world.

Paris, peonies, and champagne. Divine.

Just because I'm not busy enough...

2011-03-30T08:24:00.002+10:00

with mum-ing, immie&ollie-ing, and consulting, I've started a new business helping WAHMs out with doing their own PR.

If you are a WAHM who knows you need to get more media coverage to grow your business, but you don't really know where to start, and definitely can't afford to engage a traditional PR agency, then I can help you.

Here's my blogsite: www.princess-street-pr.com

Image here

Especially when you're sleeping

2011-03-16T20:24:00.004+10:00

It's when my babies are sleeping that I am able to love them unencumbered, uncomplicated, unconflicted.

It's not a better love, or a deeper one, but it's a profoundly different one.

When they're asleep at night I know I've done the best I can do that day. It's finished now.

They've been nurtured and nourished. We've loved and learned. We've walked and talked, and practiced and perfected. There has been fresh air and freedom. Boundaries established and tested.

When they're awake I love them more than I can express, but I am always second-guessing my parenting: judging myself against their milestones. Have they eaten enough; fine-tuned their motor skills enough; said enough words; had enough fresh air; socialised enough; learned enough; loved enough? Are they happy?

But when they're asleep, and they're lying there in their cots with their eyelashes closed against those perfect soft cheeks, I know we've all achieved another day. Any mistakes I've made are forgotten. That intensity of love that they are soley responsibly for igniting in me flares louder. And I just love them. That's all - and everything.

18 months

2011-03-09T16:25:00.002+10:00

Oh, my baby boys. You are 18 months old. One and a half. Already!

And you're such little boys. Inquisitive, cheeky, noisy, cuddly, messy, and lovely.

My darling Rocky,

You blow my mind. You've started talking - really truly talking - in proper words and sentences. "Mummy, poo - nappy!" "Mummy, up, please?", "Mummy, bottle, yum".

The instant you're awake you start going through all your favourite words, and you don't stop until your head lays on your bed to sleep.

You seem calmer now too - as though your increased ability to communicate has solved some of your frustration. You've stopped shouting as much, except when you're shouting with laughter and joy.

I *think* you've even graduated out of your sleep wrap. Last night was the first full night that you've managed to stay lying down without it since you were 10 months old!

You're less suspicious of people now too, and more social. Especially when they are impressed with your talking skills. Then you don't leave them alone :)

You love Tiny Tots, ravioli, grass, and cuddles.

And I love you more than I could ever put into words. To the moon - and back - and more.

All the love in the universe,

Your Mama

Hamish, you darling darling boy, I adore you. Adore adore adore you. You are so gentle. And kind. And soft. You're always giving things away to other people - it makes you happier than anything else to give someone a gift. You don't keep anything for yourself.

I've never been so proud of you either.

You handled your surgery so well. You didn't cry - honestly. Not once. Even when the surgeon pulled the metal pin out of your hand without a local anaesthetic. You just stared at him with your big trusting eyes and grinned with excitement at having your hands back, working better than ever. Then you waved.

I cried, but not you. Never you.

You are hilarious. You get yourself into the strangest places and positions and wait there until someone walks by, when you jump out with a 'boo'. You cackle and cackle, and you make Daddy and I laugh until tears run down our faces.

You're a very special little boy, and we are blessed to have you in our lives.

As ever, my darling, all the love in the universe,

Your mama

I met Anita Roddick

2011-02-21T13:25:00.004+10:00

When I lived in the UK and worked as a campaign manager at a giant human rights charity, I met Anita Roddick.

I was heading up the women's rights area and the issue of trafficking for sexual exploitation was one of our huge campaign issues. The EU was in the process of delivering their European Convention Against Trafficking. The UK was extremely reluctant to sign it. Most of the signatories were origin countries (where most of the women and girls who were trafficked cam from). Most of the reluctant signatories were destination countries. No real surprise there, I suppose.

Anyhow, I met Anita in the course of this work. She 'shadowed' me for a day in my work. She wanted to know what a day was like in running a campaign like this. She was full of energy and enthusiasm. Of big crazy ideas and a 'bugger-them-let's-just-do-it' attitude.

I think the daily reality of my job was less dramatic than she was hoping for. She wanted to break down the doors of the brothels. She wanted all the men charged and imprisoned. Instead we were lobbying MPs, writing legal briefs and research papers and studying reports. She was a giant force in a diminutive frame.

She had wild crazy hair, colourful scarves, and took up more emotional space than she did physical. Her energy was palpable.

I'm glad I met her. Fortunate. People always say she was an inspiring woman. And she was.

For T

2011-02-14T16:09:00.003+10:00

I love you because Every time I see you my face breaks into a smile I still get butterflies in my tummy when I see you again after I’ve been away I can see every piece of your face perfectly when I close my eyes You’re the subject of my dreams I can see how much you love me just by looking into your eyes You make me feel as though I’m worth something You make my heart sing You can read my mind You support me unconditionally You are my strength You love hugs I can’t wait to see you every day When I wake up in the morning I still can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to have you lying there next to me You believe in me You make me laugh I miss you when I don’t see you We fit You’re always warm I know you always think of me first I’d go to the end of the earth for you I can’t express in words how much I adore you It still feels like magic You’re what I’ve waited for my entire life

Ready, Set, Talk - 17 months

2011-02-10T10:53:00.006+10:00

Well darlings, you're 17 months old, and are chatterboxes. You don't stop talking. Either of you.

Daddy and I decided we should record a list of your words, so please excuse the list, but here they are:

Lach
Mama
Daddy
Bear
Turtle
Princess
Toast
Milk
num num
Balloon (boon)
Book (booka)
Shoe (Doo)
Num num (food)
Berry (bewwy)
Light (dight)
Fan (woo woo)
Bikkie (gubby)
Cuppatea
Torch
Car
Carkeys
Grass(gass)
Baby/bubba
Crazy
Ziggy
Pa
Nanna
Gamma
Go go go
Ball
Pool
Bath
Tree
Clock
Hat (dat)
Mates
Egg
Block
Straw
Table
Chalk
Bath

Hamish
Mummy
Dad
Toast (t)
Milk (meh-meh)
Balloon (boon)
Book (booka)
Shoe (Soo)
Num num (food)
Nose
Light (La)
Fan (woo woo)
Bear (Beer)
Turtle
Car
Grass(gass)
Baby/bubba
Pa
Nanna
Gamma
Ball
Pool
Bath
Tree
Clock
Mates
Egg
Block
Straw
Bath

That's a lot of words, apparently. You understand a whole lot more than that as well, so you're clever little monkeys. You're noisy too.

Oh, and you climb. Especially you, Hamish. Your arm casts are absolutely no deterrent whatsoever. You scale anything. Absolutely anything. A foothold, and you're up! With the climbing, comes the falling, and the head-knocking, but you're still in one piece.

You love to play 'heads, shoulders, knees and toes' and giggle your little heads off as you point to all the parts. You know head, ears, knees, toes, belly-button, mouth, eyes. And you dance! You both stand there stomping your little feet, swinging your little hips,waving your little arms, and nodding your little heads the instant any music with a good strong beat comes on.

I love you more than I can express, you noisy, funny, vertical little men.

All the love in the universe,
Your mama xxx

No time to cook

2011-02-09T09:16:00.005+10:00

I love Donna Hay. I have every cookbook and a subscription to her magazine. Luuuurve her.

However, since the boys arrived, those beautiful glossy books of gastronomic high fashion have been taunting me. Teasing me. And frankly, making me feel both useless and guilty all at once.

As soon as the boys hit the stage of being awake more than they were asleep, dinner ceased being on the table. I just couldn't get it together in time.

I have spent many many months feeling rather pathetic. I mean, how hard it is to cook something simple. It's easy of course, if the ingredients are in the cupboard / fridge. If you remember to get the meat out of the freezer. If you can chop and peel with toddlers hanging off your legs. If you can ignore the flour being tipped all over the floor while you stir something at a crucial stage.

I bought a slow cooker, thinking it was going to solve all my problems. It didn't. Because in order for a slow cooker to cook, you have to have ingredients (that old chestnut) - defrosted (again, not my forte) - to pop in (in the morning - NOT the late afternoon).

I gave up weekends and precious family time cooking meals to freeze, thinking that would solve all my problems. It did - for a while - until I got so sick of bolognaise that I don't think I'll ever be able to eat it again.

When I served baby puree on pasta one night, I knew I had hit a new low. Especially when I decided *not to tell* and *pretend* it was actual pasta sauce.

But then I got my hands on Donna Hay's No Time To Cook. Seriously. The. Best. Cookbook. Ever.

Honestly.

Yes, you have to actually do some grocery shopping, but that's common to all cooking and eating - not just this book. So on the weekend, I sat down for 10 minutes with the book, picked out 7 recipes, wrote a shopping list and sent T off to Woollies.

In the past week, we have cooked:

Chicken and chorizo cous cous with spinach
Spinach bacon and ricotta frittata
Cunnchy parmesan chicken
Baked lemon chicken and feta
Quesadillas
Three-cheese risotto
Prosciutto and mozzarella open sandwiches on ciabatta

I know, right! Amazing. I've even stunned myself. I've come a long way baby.

The best thing is that none of them take more than 5 minutes to prepare. Honestly. Stick a needle in my eye. And T and I do it together when he gets home from work, we get to have a lovely chat and a glass of wine. It's very civilised. Plus I am sure we are saving money. We were in the trap of buying takeaway, or doing a late mercy dash to the supermarket and just buying whatever looked edible. We have also lessened our wastage.

Changed my life. Thanks Donna. You're my hero. xxxx

Lach, you're a beautiful brother

2011-02-07T14:16:00.003+10:00

Darling Lach

I just wanted to capture this moment for you; such a beautiful precious moment that shows how much you love and look out for Hamish.

I tried to get a photo and some video, but I didn't manage it, so this is the best I can do.

Last week, while you and Hamish were playing, you noticed that Mishy was trying to read a book. You noticed that he couldn't turn the pages because both of his arms and hands were in casts. You went across to him, sat next to him, and turned the pages for him.

It was so beautiful it made me cry. You are so beautiful my little Rocky.

I adore you, with every breath I have.

All the love in the universe
Your Mama

Back garden playtime

2011-02-07T13:57:00.004+10:00

Post-op

2011-01-20T22:11:00.003+10:00

My darling Hame's surgery went beautifully, and my little one is one astounding human.

We had to wake up very early on Wednesday morning to get to the hospital by 6am for surgery at 8am. He was nil-by-mouth, so I was really worried he was going to be hungry and miserable for the two hours we were waiting around. [I would have been!]

But he wasn't- not even a bit. He was a little ray of sunshine. Smiling and laughing at all the nurses and hospital staff. Running up and down the corridors of his ward giggling and waving at everyone he passed. Bouncing up and down on his bed.

The anaesthetist came by about an hour before his scheduled surgery time to explain to us what he was going to do, and told us that most babies are really very upset when they come out of the anaesthetic and get quite distressed with the gas used to put them to sleep. So we were prepared for lots of tears.

I went into the theatre with him, anxiously wondering how it was going to go. I wasn't sure how well I would hold it together if he started thrashing around and really crying. But do you know what that little darling boy did? He just sing-songed and smiled at every one until his long eyelashed fluttered closed against his perfect little cheeks.

I didn't cry. There was no need. He was perfectly fine. I did get a very sore lump in my throat as I left the theatre though - as unlikely as it was, I couldn't get rid of that paralysing fear in the very dark depths of my mind that something could go horribly wrong while he was under the anaesthetic and that last kiss I placed on his soft little cheek might have been the last one ever.

But of course he was fine. And when he came out of his anaesthetic he was astonishing. Still smiling. And snuggling. T and I both got some fabulous, long baby snuggles because he was still so sleepy, and we cherished every last minute. We don't get enough of those long warm snuggles these days.

He is so remarkable. If it wasn't for the bandages, you'd never know he had an operation yesterday. While still in hospital, still pretty groggy, he was hiding behind the curtain and playing 'boo' - just to see us smile. As if to say "don't worry about me mama, I'm better than ever".

He still hasn't cried. Not in pain. Not when he overbalanced and fell onto his arms. Not when he and Lach collided and he fell. Not when he can't pick up his sipper cup, or his food, or his toys, or turn the pages of his book.

He is his usual smiley, laughing, singing, happy self. I've never been so proud of him.

We are so lucky to have such an angelic, happy baby boy.

Darling Hamish, tomorrow is a big day

2011-01-18T19:06:00.003+10:00

Hello Hamish, my darling one.

I've just peeked in on you, tucked up in bed asleep, looking like the peaceful angel that you are. Did you know you even look like you're smiling while you're sleeping? Well, you do.

Tomorrow is the day you are having your surgery. You hit the 10kg mark, and so the time has come.

Daddy and I are sure you will face this challenge with your usual smiles and laughter. And before you know it, you will be back to normal, only better :)

We love you angel - you darling, divine, boy.

All the love in the universe
Your mamaxxxxxxx

Floods

2011-01-15T18:47:00.014+10:00

Well, it's a new year and this is my first post.

Things have been catastrophic here in Brisbane. It's been truly horrifying. So many lives lost. Homes, possessions, memories, and safety; gone in almost the blink of an eye.

Tim has been out today for more than 12 hours already helping with the clean up and they've only made it to two homes. And neither of them are anywhere near cleaned up. It is going to literally take months. It will take years for things to be fully rectified, and even then, it won't be as it was. So many people are going to be homeless for a very long time.Thousands of homes will have to be completely demolished. It's incredibly sad.

What is it they say about tragedy bringing out the best in people? It has. But there are also the vultures - too many incidents of looting - what unfeeling, selfish,utter bastards. But gloriously there have been tens of thousands of everyday people getting out into suburban streets with their brooms, mops, hoses, pressure cleaners and mucking in wherever they can. It gives you faith that everything will somehow be ok.

I feel impotent in many ways. I wish I could do more. But with two babies it is hard. I have packed up lots of baby clothes and toys. A friend-of-a-friend is 37 weeks pregnant and lost absolutely everything when their house in Chelmer was consumed by the river. Every single thing in her home is gone. Everything they had bought in preparation for the arrival of their first baby. I've packed up lots of stuff for her.

I have been glued to the television for days. Tears streaming down my face. It's almost more than I can bear, but I can't tear my eyes away. The stories of babies and children being torn from their parents' arms by violent waters breaks my heart. I don't think I could go on. But they do. People can show extraordinary strength in the most hideous of circumstances, and I suppose, have done since time began.

Everyday heroes. My heroes.

Some photos of my beautiful devastated city.

Help?

2010-12-21T13:20:00.005+10:00

Today, I tackled the supermarket with the boys. I didn't really give it a second thought - I've taken them plenty of times before and they just do their thing; it's never any trouble.

But today I couldn't get the 'parents with prams park' so I had to park a good walk away from the entrance.

I didn't have the pram in the car because I was planning to use a trolley. Who can push a trolley and a double buggy up and down supermarket aisles? Not me.

So there I was, a good few hundred metres from the entrance, with two 15 month olds who I can't let walk on their own safely near cars!

I had to get them out of their carseats, but what would I do with the one who was out while I got the second baby out of his seat? I couldn't just pop him on the ground and tell him to stay - the carpark is like a busy road.

So I had to hold Hamish on one hip, while I took Lach out of his seat. I bumped one's head and nearly dropped the other, but we got there.

Then I had to balance two babies on my hips, which, I have always moaned about, and never more so since having babies, DON'T EXIST! The only way I can get a baby balanced on a hip is to jut it out. Ever tried jutting both hips out? Not possible.

So precariously balanced, with two babies, both around 10kg, both hanging down to my knees (I'm not a tall girl, let's put it that way), I had to race across the road and down to the supermarket.

Lots of people gave me sympathetic smiles. Someone told me I deserved a medal. Someone else said "It's not easy is it love?".

But, not one person offered to help me.

I don't know if I would have accepted - you know, in order to keep your balance you must keep moving - so this is probably a moot point in the end, but I was frankly rather astonished.

I was obviously struggling just getting there. Then I had to somehow use a hand (that should have been balancing a baby) to pull out all the trolleys to get to the one trolley that has two seats in it, and still, not one person offered to help.

Plenty watched on in morbid fascination though. Will she make it? Will she drop them? Is this going to end in catastrophe?

What is that all about? Perhaps they were waiting for me to ask?

The twins v Santa

2010-12-11T22:33:00.002+10:00

Poor guy - I don't think he knew what hit him.

today

2010-12-09T13:56:00.004+10:00

I am day dreaming about pretty frothy frocks
I am baby-free, and working. I miss them.
I am editing web copy while drinking endless cups of english breakfast tea, from a teapot, made with leaves
I can still smell Hame's warm little morning snuggles
I have made a mercy dash to our poor pool, which had turned an alarming shade of green overnight
I am smiling at Lach's newest word: crazy. He says it all the time, and it's so cute.
I picked some gardenias from my garden, and they have made my house smell so pretty
A good friend called and we had a lovely chat
I told my special peeps that I love them
The sun is shining!

15 months

2010-12-09T13:42:00.004+10:00

Rockstar, you are busy. So so busy. All the time.

You don't walk - you run. You don't just talk, you chatterbox. You don't do things quietly; you make as much noise as you can. Sometimes you just shout - as loud as you can - for absolutely no reason other than that it maks you laugh, it makes Hame laugh, and it makes Mama and Daddy laugh.

Your latest version of fun is picking up everything that is pick-up-able, and throwing it over the baby gate and down the stairs, with as much force and racket as you can muster. You also throw things down behind the television and under the sofa, and remove everything in your reach from its rightful home, and onto the floor. You are a one-baby chaos machine!

But you are delightful. So cheeky. So funny. So clever. And so cuddly. One of my favourite things is when you see me coming and you race as fast as your little legs will carry you over to me. You throw yourself around my legs and grip on as though you never want to let go.

You are going through a very clingy phase and are sometimes utterly inconsolable unless I'm giving you a cuddle. You cry with such heart-breaking tears that it's all I can do to stop my own tears falling.

But mostly you are cheeky, crazy, giggly, and mischievous.

I love you my little Rocky.

All the love in the universe,
Your mama

Hello Hamish, darling boy

Happy 15 month birthday my angel. I know I say it every month, but you are a darling. You just are. You still are. I'm sure you always will be.

You are kind, and gentle, and sweet.
You sing the softest, sweetest songs, and it melts my heart.
You smile and laugh at complete strangers everywhere we go. They fall in love with you, and I don't blame them.

You LOVE other children. You try to launch yourself out of your pram to play with other kids. You point and laugh and laugh until they see you, and then they can't help themselves either - you're irresistible even to them. They come over, hold your hands, kiss your cheeks, and say "look at the beautiful little baby mummy" to their own mamas. You are enchanting.

All four of your molars have come through at exactly the same time this month and you haven't made a peep. Not a sound. You are so brave. Even when your little gums have been bleeding, you still keep on smiling.

Lately, you love your teddy bears. You often pick all of them up and once and just snuggle right into them with the biggest, happiest grin on your face. See? Darling. No question.

As ever, all the love in the universe
Your Mama

so, this is what I'm thinking.....

2010-11-25T15:31:00.003+10:00

I don't think there are enough opportunities in life to wear a tutu, so why not!!

And yes, I know, it's all over a year away, and there is more to a party than a frock....!?

I'm planning something..!!

2010-11-22T16:46:00.006+10:00

It's an indulgence. And it's more than a year away. But I love nothing more than the anticipation of waiting for something special.

In just over 12 months it will be our 10 year wedding anniversary.

10 years!

So I'm planning a party - a big bash - and I can't wait to get engrossed in all the details.

I found this pic today, and although it's stark and empty, I love the feeling it evokes, and the promise it holds! The wide open sky, those gorgeous paper lanterns and the simplicity. Stunning.

Hello Thursday

2010-11-18T09:09:00.002+10:00

How did you get here so quickly?

Image: weheartit

Lucky

2010-11-17T19:17:00.003+10:00

Some days, for some reason I can't explain, I realise how lucky I am, and how lucky my little family is.

We're lucky that we found love, and that we love deeply.

We're lucky that we have our health.

We're lucky that we have close family and friends we can count on, and who can count on us.

We're lucky that we have a beautiful forever house already.

We're lucky that the cards have been in our favour, when for so many others they're not.

We're lucky to have been fortunate enough to have two beautiful babies.

You'd never know by looking at me just how truly lucky I am to be alive.

You'd never know by looking at my babies just how tiny they were, and how all their risk factors for things like cerebral palsy were so much higher than average.

I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking about all the things I don't have. So every now and then I just make sure I acknowledge all that we do. I don't ever want to take any of it for granted.

14 months

2010-11-12T08:38:00.006+10:00

My mini men are 14 months old. They're walking, talking, and enjoying each other's company. There are lots of cuddles in our house. Seeing them give each other a hug and a 'pat' is seriously one of the most adorable things I have ever seen. It makes my heart melt.

They are ON THE GO. Always moving. Always getting into things. Always in different places getting into mischief at the same time. The other day Hamish got himself wedged under the sofa, and in the time it took me to get him out, Lach had worked out how to unlock the tv cabinet doors, and had started playing with the glass tea light holders!

Later that afternoon, Hamish climbed into the cupboard with all the ceramic dishes while Lach emptied the flour all over the floor at the opposite end of the kitchen.

The house has never been messier, I have never been more exhausted and challenged, but it is so lovely seeing them explore their world. You can't get cross - they're just trying to understand what is around them, and it's amazing to watch them learn so rapidly.

Mr Mishy

You are an angelic child. Always full of smiles and quick to laugh, you're an absolute delight. You're cheeky too though, and a prankster. You're always getting yourself into strange places, making funny sounds, and pulling funny faces just to make people laugh. You're definitely our entertainer.

You took your first steps just a few days ago, and this morning, before Daddy left for work, you did a big walk. You were beside yourself with excitement. The look on your face was so precious, I wish I could have bottled it.

You're getting bigger and bigger too. We have been seeing the dietician about your weight, and after a couple of months of adding cream, butter, cheese, oil and avocado to everything, we were given some high calorie supplements to add to your food. It worked! You have hit 9kg and that means you get to have your operation sooner, which is better for you in the long-run.

You still almost never cry. You don't make fuss about going to bed. You wake up smiling and the sound of you singing from your cot in the morning is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.

I adore you you darling, beautiful, wonderful, kind, funny, boy.

All the love in the universe
Your mama

Hey Rockstar

You are clever. Really really clever. You pick up words a mile a minute. You chatter and babble all day long. You can say Mama, Daddy, Nana, Maaa, Pa, Mish, Ta, Cheese, Ball, Balloon, Car, Car Key, Star, Princess (nana's dog's name), blue, dog, quack, and bath.

You're always watching - really watching - trying to figure things out. You work out all your toys within about 3 minutes of using them, so we're constantly finding new things for you play with.

You love music. In fact, you totally rock out. You're really into the Stone Roses at the moment. You know the songs, and when the choruses come on you actually headbang. You have music in you. Even when there isn't any music playing, you sit there rocking away.

You're up and walking too. You're very confident on your feet and the day that you started you instantly changed from a baby into a little boy.

You've been going through a bit of a biting phase, which has left your poor mama rather battered and bruised, but we've realised that you think it's a kiss! This makes it ok. So we're learning how to do proper kisses and you haven't chomped into me in a couple of days now :)

You're still so little, but you more than make up for it in personality! I love you more than I can explain, you clever, funny, darling little scalliwag.

As ever, all the love in the universe

Your mama

The trouble with two

2010-11-10T17:36:00.005+10:00

in the amount of time it takes to rescue one twin from behind and under the sofa where he has managed to wedge himself, the other twin figures out how to take the cabinet door locks off, opens them, and shatters a few glass votives over the tiles.

The trouble with teeth

2010-11-09T08:03:00.004+10:00

Hamish is getting his top molars. The poor kid is drooling everywhere, his cheeks are bright red, his gums looks horribly inflamed, and where they're pushing through his gums they look almost ulcerated.

But you know what? Not a peep from him. Not one. He is amazing.

Lach on the other hand is going through a biting phase. My arms and shoulders are covered in bruises. One is so big I can't believe his little mouth was responsible. I look as though I've been grabbed and pulled in a boxing ring. This morning he bit Hamish on the face, and the little man screamed the house down. Considering I can count on one hand the number of times I've heard Hamish even cry, this is a big deal.

How do you stop the biting? I've read everything I can get my hands on. It makes sense to me that it's simply cause and effect. As interesting as watching a piece of food fall from his hand to the floor. He doesn't understand emotions and pain. He's not doing it maliciously. He can't verbalise, so maybe it's frustration?

I've tried giving him things to bite, I've tried deflecting the bites, I've looked him in the eye and said 'no' firmly. I've lavished attention on the bitee, hoping he will realise it's not the way to get my attention. I've pulled a sad face and said "you've hurt mama". I've tried an over-dramatic crying reaction (he laughed - I imagine it must have looked fairly ridiculous). I've tried ignoring it.

I will not bite him back.

He doesn't bite T. Why?

Perhaps a coat of armour until then!

Off to the daily grind

2010-11-08T07:09:00.003+10:00

immie&ollie's newest "Mini Men T Shirts". Aren't they cute!!

Is imitation the greatest form of flattery?

2010-11-05T07:00:00.006+10:00

I'm not so sure.

Last weekend at one of our markets I spied another stall holder selling something that looked very similar to my universal liner.

I felt like my little bubble had burst. I have kind of always thought I was on borrowed time. I couldn't believe that no-one else was making and selling them, and wondered how long it would take.

I have no issue with competition. It's how the world works. Monopolies are a bad thing, in an economic sense.

But this was different.

I truly wouldn't have minded if her liners were different to mine. Or the same price. Or if I hadn't previously sold her one. Or she wasn't a follower of my Facebook page.

But they were identical. They were $5 cheaper than mine. They were in almost exactly the same fabrics. She is a follower of my facebook page. And I am almost positive I have sold one to her previously.

In some ways, I can uderstand her logic. She has probably been to loads of markets and realised that no-one else, aside from immie&ollie, is making and selling pram / carseat liners. Hey hey, opportunity! And at markets it sometimes seems that every other stall holder is selling variations of the same item. I can truly understand that.

It's not like I invented the pram liner either. You can buy them. They're out there.

The thing is though, that my liners aren't like the reversible bucket hats, or pillowcase dresses, or boys' shorts for which patterns are available publicly and commercially. Even when they are mamas work so so hard to find unique fabric combinations, embellishments and stylistic features that make them uniquely their own.

But my pattern is mine. As in I drew it. I designed it. In fact, I have spent most of this year drawing it, trying it, refining it, and getting it perfect. It's not available at a fabric store, or online.

But more than that, it's not in the spirit of supporting other work-at-home parents.

Some of my lovely customers raced over to warn me about "the copycat pram liner lady" - this isn't fair to her really. And I am sure some of her customers said the same thing to her about me. See, no-one is a winner.

I'm still trying to decide whether I should contact her about it, or whether there is nothing I can do so best to just leave it alone.

I certainly don't want to create bad feeling. I love the markets - i love meeting new friends and being inspired by so many other clever mamas. I don't want to spoil that.

Ah, decisions....

We have a walker!

2010-10-28T07:35:00.002+10:00

Lach just walked across the room!!

He was so excited about it he stopped half way to give himself a big round of applause.

You should have seen the grin on his face. I will try to get some video.

Oh, my little man! I have tears streaming down my face.

Details details

2010-10-22T08:28:00.020+10:00

A few friends have been asking me for more details about Hamish & Lachlan's first birthday party, so I thought I should oblige.

The theme

The first thing I did was choose the theme. I chose a kite party for a few reasons - partly because my babies have never suited traditional 'baby' things - they have way too much personality and zest!

I also didn't want a licensed character party. I am sure I'll have to sit through enough of those when they get old enough to fall in love with Thomas or whatever. Kites are old-fashioned kid fun. And while the boys were too young to fly them, I liked the concept of the freedom of looking upwards, dreaming big, and flying free.

The other obvious benefit was that the toddlers and children could fly kites in the park, entertaining them for hours on end without having to have a whole host of party games up my sleeve.

The colours

I chose the colour palette next. I think I always knew I was going to have red and sky blue. Red and blue is a traditional combination for boys, but the sky blue just gives it a bit more pop, and made it look like Spring.

The location

T and I scouted parks for weeks. We drove all over the city trying to find a park that had enough tables, enough shade, a playground near to the party headquarters, toilets, and enough room for kite-flying. We looked at so many before we remembered about the park underneath the bridge. I don't know why we didn't think of it immediately - we have been there often enough! But as soon as we arrived for the reccy we knew we'd found the place. It was perfect.

The only concern was that the pavilions couldn't be reserved, so we knew we'd have to get there early to make sure we got them. In the morning when we arrived, a marquee wedding was setting up on the other side of the park, and they were in the loo block cleaning, changing the paper over for much nicer stuff, adding hand-towels, hand soap, and flowers!!!

The invitations

I wanted a kite shaped invitation, and I wanted it double-sided, but I didn't want to pay lots extra for cutting, trimming and for special sized envelopes. I knew it was a bit beyond me to do it myself, so I set about finding a designer. Jennifer Birkhead was recommended to me by a friend, and she was amazing. She got it right first time. No changes. She's a star. I've recommended her to a couple of other friends recently too, and again, she has got it right for them first time too.

We had another stroke of luck. When Jen sent them to print, the printer accidentally printed the back upside down, making them un-useable. So another run was done to fix it, but Jen sent me the incorrect ones anyhow, with the fantastic idea that I could use them for party decorations.

The decorations

15m of bunting made from the 'wrong' invitations, using old-fashioned twine and some gorgeous Michael Miller bias binding in the perfect red and blue tied in between for a nostalgic look.

Tissue paper pompoms over the pressie table (thanks Martha)

And some red and blue balloons.

All very simple :)

The cakes

I knew I wanted the boys to have a cake each. I have twin sisters, and one of the first things they said to me when I told them I was pregnant with twins was they must have their own birthday cakes and their own 'happy birthday' singing session.

As detailed in a previous post, I am NOT a skilled cake decorator. But the thought of paying $100 for two small cakes that weren't even going to be eaten (whoops, I was wrong about that, actually...!!) made me feel a little sick to the stomach. So I determined to do them myself.

They weren't perfect, but they were delicious!!!

I also bought a cake knife that we will be able to use every year for birthdays and special occasions.

We also had cupcakes made by my mum's beautiful friend Margie, from Dellicious Cupcakes. They were so beautiful - almost too beautiful to eat :)

The food

I wanted to keep it really simple because we were having to transport everything to the park. It was close to home, but we still had to load it and unload it all.

For the 'party table' we had cupcakes, jellies, vanilla bean sugar cookies, lollies, home-made marshmallows, little cases of popcorn, and fruit skewers.

We also had loads of lovely finger sandwiches and mini quiches for passing around. We also had fresh orange juice, champagne, and lots of little cute bottles of water.

We finished off with some slices of yummy cold watermelon.

The party favours

Instead of putting together a traditional lolly bag, I decided to give the kids something that they could keep and enjoy. We had "Kites for Kids" and "Bubbles for Bubs". Big hit :)

The photography

My friend, and fellow twin-mum, Katie Walker-Smith is a wonderful photographer. I asked her to come along to make sure we got beautiful pictures to remember the day. We think it was well worth it. She captured it beautifully. And we now have such beautiful candid joyful shots of us with our babies that we wouldn't have had otherwise. Thanks Katie xxx

I think that's it....? The weather was glorious, there was enough wind for kite-flying, and all the special people in our boys' lives came along. It was a perfect day.

Getting to know me..!

2010-10-18T21:23:00.008+10:00

The lovely Sarah from One Perfect Day has 'tagged' me - my first ever. And what a lovely way to begin.

Sarah's blog is delightful. I love reading it, and I love the way she captures such precious beautiful moments with her little boy. She's unbelievably creative - always doing amazing things with her little man that I wouldn't dream of in a million years. But the most beautiful thing about it is that she is happy. Truly happy. And it's wonderful.

So, here are my answers. Enjoy

What is your favourite time of the day?
I love the late afternoon into early evening. That soft sun warming my face, slowing me down, forcing me to just sit. I especially love it in Spring and Summer. From my back verandah I can feel the happiness that seems to always be around at that time of day. Kids are laughing, mums are calling them in for dinner, glasses clinking, laughter tinkling, and the smell of bbqs and jasmine in the air. Love it. If I could bottle it I would. Guaranteed to bring a smile to my face.

Where and when did you meet the love of your life?
T and I met in 1997 (can that be right??). We were so young. We met at the races - a young member's day I think - and found out afterwards that we knew lots of each other's friends. It was quite astonishing that we hadn't crossed paths earlier. Just mustn't have been our time until then I guess.

We've been together now for 13 years, and married for nearly 9. We're one of those lucky couples that has grown together as we've grown older, rather than apart, and we know how rare that is.

We're best friends.

What three words would your friends outside of the blogging world use to describe you?
This is a funny one because I was just having this conversation with some girlfriends the other night. We were at the Valentino exhibition, and some bubbles had been consumed, so I'm not sure how truthful this is, but they said intelligent, bubbly and kind.

What country would you like to visit and why?
I'm lucky that I've travelled a lot. But I've never been to Asia. I don't know why. I think it's because it always felt so close to home that we figured we do it "later". Still waiting!! I really want to see Vietnam.

We've also been talking about where we can travel easily with the boys and have a Japan ski trip, a trip to Canada, and a driving holiday through Germany all competing for next year's holiday.

What is your favourite dish to cook?
I love cooking. Not as much as I used to, but I think that's more about time available and exhaustion levels. But when I do it, I always remember why I love it.

I love cooking two things over and above everything else. Risotto with grilled mushrooms, and a traditional roast chicken with the scrummiest roast potatoes in the world (how's that for confidence :) )

Salt or sugar?
I have low blood sugar and low blood pressure, which is apparently why my body craves salt. When it's really low I am sometimes compelled to pour a little bit of salt into my palm and lick it straight off. Isn't that revolting?

But I love sweet tea. I always try to cut back the sugar I have (2) but I never manage it. Ever.

What are your must have make up or beauty items?
Mascara. Lashings of it. I'm a bit of a tart too - I don't have any product loyalty. I'm constantly searching for the holy grail of mascaras. At the moment I am LOVING Estee Lauder Double Wear. It's so fabulous that I may actually buy it again.

And blush. I love red rosy cheeks.I'm currently using MAC Cubic - a powder blush, but will change to a stain soon I think.

What are your favourite flowers?
I have three favourite flowers. Gerberas because they are so vibrant. They look like they're smiling. I can't walk past them without grinning back. I had them for my wedding because I couldn't think of anything else that would make me smile as much.

Tulips. The first flower I fell in love with when I was a little girl. I thought I'd never seen anything so beautiful. And there is still something about a field of tulips that takes my breath away.

And, peonies. Divine. So so so pretty. Romantic. And so hard to get!!!

What are your worst vices...honestly?
I have a tiny penchant for the dramatic.. Not in a 'throw myself on the ground and scream and yell' kind of way, but quite strange things seem to happen to me a bit more than is probably normal. And I don't mind a *little bit* of artistic license in story-telling :)

At what time of your life were you happiest and why?
The moment I saw my babies for the very first time. I can't describe it well enough to do it justice. But I loved them so much, so intensely, and so instantly that for a second I couldn't breathe. I've never been so happy, so proud, so relieved, and so in love.

So now, a couple of other girls who I'd love to know a bit more about:

Jacki at More than a Mummy
Amanda at Homely One
Kylie at The Rockgarden
Shan at Missy Melly

I'd love to hear your answers if you have time or the inclination for this bit of fun

Thanks so much Sarah. This has been fun. That raspberry cake sounds delicious.
xx

Waving the white flag

2010-10-13T09:31:00.002+10:00

I've officially surrendered. Arms up. Admitted defeat.

I will never win the battle of twinaphernalia.

From the bottles on the sink, to the baby bath and toys in the bathroom, to the portacot permanently up in our bedroom, to the rumpus room toy floor, and the spare bed still covered in presents from their first birthday party, the house has been taken over.

And you can't miss it. Primary colour bonanza! It smacks you in the face from every angle.

How can two such tiny little people amass more possessions than I think I have gathered in the past 33 years?? What kid needs 47 stuffed toys? And where did they come from? I know I didn't buy a single one of them.

One day I'll tackle it, but right now, I'm too tired. So instead, I might just sit down and have a little play with the stacking cups :)

raining

2010-10-11T09:30:00.003+10:00

It's raining here. Really raining. Our pool is overflowing, as are our dams. The roads are turning into rivers.

We're all a little sick here too - chesty coughs, runny noses and eyes, lots of Vicks.

The boys are sleeping like angels, and I am drinking endless cups of sweet tea under a warm duvet surrounded by my favourite mags.

I don't mind it actually. It's nice to slow down every now and then.

Thank you

2010-10-05T08:37:00.005+10:00

Darling T

Thank you for sitting with me last night while I worked until very late, and for helping me when it all got a bit too much.

Thank you for letting me sleep this morning when the boys woke with the birds.

Thank you for knowing me so well that you know what I need before I know it myself.

I love you
Jx

Changing

2010-10-04T00:02:00.002+10:00

My little men are growing up so quickly.

We had lunch today with some dear friends who have a little girl a few weeks older than the boys, and a brand new 9 day old little baby girl.

She is *teeny tiny*. Tiny! Well, she seems it. I can't believe that only a year ago my little ones were only 1/3 of the size she is.

I truly had (and still don't really) no comprehension of just how little they were.

But you'd never know it now. This is them. Growing up faster than I can believe. Loving the car.

Grateful

2010-10-02T21:57:00.002+10:00

This Saturday I'm grateful for a husband who does the washing up. And wipes up all the resultant peripheral splashes.
And who brings me extra sweet cups of tea.
And who spends all day digging out ugly plants and replacing them with pretty ones.

Thank you darling.

xx

(ps play along with Maxabella here)

Wednesday weirdness #2

2010-09-29T08:21:00.004+10:00

I can't sit down at my desk to concentrate on work if there is mess in my line of sight. I am one of those people who need a clean, calm environment in order for my brain to work. If something is bugging me, I *have* to fix it before I can be even vaguely productive.

Unfortunately I am easily distracted, and a queen of procrastination.

I also have two one year olds and my work space is in the same area as the playroom. It's never, ever tidy.

This is generally therefore a gigantic problem.

I race around like an idiot trying to clean up, but then feel like I ought to be working, so race back to the computer, only to be completely unable to do anything until 'that thing, right there, taunting me', is put away, only to realise it's a bigger job than I thought, so go back to the computer instead... and so on.

I'm sure it must be hilarious - and perhaps a little frightening - to watch.

Learning

2010-09-27T07:20:00.002+10:00

The little men are learning so much, so quickly.

Hamish has learned 'ta', and he is adorable. Every time we make eye contact with him he is proffering something up saying 'ta' in the most beautiful little voice. He hands it over very seriously (sometimes - other times he really isn't interested in letting it got) and then holds his hand out to get it back, "ta".

And sometimes he just barrels head-long into Lach, clocks him one, steals his toy, and then looks up with huge shining angelic eyes smiling, and whispers "ta".

The Rock-Star has started standing un-aided.

He starts by holding on to something - usually the sofa and warms up with a few laps, getting faster and faster. He stops, suddenly, and lets go holding both hands up like he's surrendering before falling onto his tiny little bum giggling.

Funny, adorable little men.

An emerald green frock

2010-09-23T19:37:00.003+10:00

I don't watch Cold Case. There's no particular reason for it, it's just never been on my radar.

However, a while ago (a month? maybe two?) I was flicking channels and stopped in my tracks. There was a blonde woman, at a wedding, wearing one of the most beautiful frocks I have ever seen.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. In fact, I went online and searched everything I could think of to find out what it was, who designed it, where I could get it. No luck. So I stopped thinking about it (except when I see anything emerald green in a store window!)

Then, a week or so later, a wedding invitation arrived in the mail. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

I need this dress. I NEEEEEEEED it. Where oh where can I buy you most beautiful frock I've seen in a very long time?

Wednesday weirdness #1

2010-09-22T10:09:00.009+10:00

I was just hanging my washing out, something that is a source of great hilarity to my family and friends.

I have this thing about pegs. They have to match. I can't hang something out with two different pegs. Physically cannot do it.

Sometimes T hangs things out with un-matching pegs just to see my reaction.

And react, I do.

freakoutalittleandcan'tstopmyselffromfixingit.

Yes, I have been known to unpeg and rehang an entire line of washing because of mis-matched pegs. Something that, you know, is an efficient use of all those spare hours I have in my day at the moment.

I have tried to address this issue by buying pegs that are identical. Same size, same colour. Do you know how hard it is to buy packs of single colour pegs (well aside from the wooden ones that just don't last the distance)? Impossible.

There's an idea!

Dreaming of...

2010-09-20T14:21:00.000+10:00

.... a long luxurious bath: just me and Jo Malone, some tunes, candles and champagne. ah bliss.

FRIDAY PRIDE DAY

2010-09-17T08:39:00.004+10:00

I give myself a really hard time. I don't realise how much I expect of myself, and this week it took a mini-meltdown and an honest talk from T to understand that it's not healthy or helpful.

I think we all expect too much of ourselves, and spend too much time wrestling with guilt and worth.

So, I've decided that instead of wasting precious energy worrying and feeling guilty about all the things I haven't managed to achieve, I am going to celebrate the things I have.

They might not be huge things, but I'm happy I managed them.

1. I wrote half an annual report this week for my client, and it's good. They're really really happy with it, and I feel proud of it.

2. I've cooked something for dinner every night this week!

So there you go. Two things I am proud of this week.

Maybe something this little each week might help.

I, for one, feel better already. And hey, it's Friday!!

#29 Don't bite off more than you can chew

2010-09-16T23:01:00.000+10:00

it will only cause you to feel incapable and guilty - and neither of those are worth wasting your precious energy on.

It's the small things

2010-09-14T08:42:00.004+10:00

Someone asked me the other day what it was about our house that made me want to buy it.

I know I should have said things about land size and aspect and rooflines and proximity to things.

But can I tell you a secret? There were two main things:

It's in a street called Princess.

And there is a specially built room for clothes and shoes. A shoe room! I've always wanted one of those :)

A perfect weekend

2010-09-12T20:17:00.006+10:00

photography by the very talented Katie Walker-Smith

A whole year old

2010-09-09T15:43:00.009+10:00

Hamish, my darling baby

I adore you with every breath in my body. You are such a special treasure. With your bottomless eyes, your special smile, your gentle way and your generous nature.

You are a darling. That's the best word to describe you. You really are. You are so enamoured with life. Everything delights you. Your eyes are constantly lit with joy -so visible that it brings tears to mine.

You are such a happy little chappy. You are generous with your love and your cuddles. You bring smiles and love to everyone you meet.

Just yesterday, at the park, a woman and her little girl walked by - you gave them such big smiles that she said "hello you gorgeous happy little boy". And you are.

You've come a long way too. When you were first born, you had respiratory distress syndrome, so had to be ventilated. Your poor little lungs just weren't quite ready for the job of breathing for you, so you needed a little help. It wasn't for long, but there were 4 days at the beginning of your tiny life when you were in a higher level of ICU than Lachie. And even then, when you were only hours old, we could see how gentle and calm you were.

Your mama and daddy love you so much that sometimes - just for a millisecond - we can't breathe. It's so overwhelming - this love we have for you - that we sometimes wonder what we did to deserve the ridiculous amount of happiness that we feel.

As ever, my darling angel boy, all the love in the universe
Your Mama

Darling Lachlan

Could I love you any more? I don't think so. But every day I'm so surprised, because I do.

You are such a cheeky, entertaining, joyous, mischevious little boy.

And you are all of a sudden a little boy. You have so much spark, and so much independence. Nothing baby-ish about you anymore -except when you're tired and you snuggle in for special cuddles. You'll alway be my baby.

You're our intrepid explorer. Nothing is off-limits. Every corner, table, sofa, bench, cupboard is a wonderland waiting to be discovered.

You learn so quickly. You repeat songs back to us, you clap when we clap. You love clapping so much - it totally rocks your world. You get so excited and laugh so much that you literally topple over. Adorable.

You have come so far in a year, littlest one. From a tiny little baby who had stopped growing in-utero at 28 weeks gestation, with umbilical cord problems, born prematurely at only 2 pounds something and with a bleeding stomach, to a vibrant, cheeky darling boy who is so tall you're nearly off the charts, and with a personality even bigger.

As for your mama and daddy, well we've come a long way too. Our first year of being parents has been the most wonderful time of our lives. We didn't really know how much capacity we had for loving you. We didn't know how happy it was possible to be. Our hearts are so full of love that sometimes it actually aches.

I couldn't be more proud of you my amazing, strong, determined little scamp.

As ever, all the love in the universe
Your Mama

#28 Patience really is a virtue

2010-09-07T18:07:00.002+10:00

this is one I'm still working on too :)

Oh dear, the cake(s)

2010-09-07T07:55:00.004+10:00

I am officially the world's worst cake decorator.

I tried. I really did. I did a "practice cake" so that on Friday night when I need to get the world's most important first birthday cakes made, it's not a mad rush, panic and disaster.

It was worse than I expected. I didn't think it would look like one of those magazine cakes, but I had a vision in my head, only it failed to manifest on my cake.

It should have been simple - cut cake into 'kite' shape, ice with buttercream (smooth of course - aha, downfall 1), divide cake into 4 kite segments with licorice strips (which refused to stay straight and instead curved off in the most ridiculous fashion), pour hundreds and thousands into opposite segments (and not spill any into the other segments - hmmmm).

Sounds easy. WAS NOT. Oh dear. And I'm making two! (I have twin sisters who both said to me almost the minute I announced I was expecting twins - "whatever you do, you have to give them their own birthday cakes!" - sounds like childhood trauma to me!)

Now it's too late to get them made, plus I have that whole "it's their first birthday, I'm their mama, I should make their cakes' thing going on.

I'm sure there are tricks I don't know about. I'm sure patience is one of them. Please find me patience...!

xx

The weekend, briefly

2010-09-06T16:43:00.004+10:00

First Father's Day (so special), yummy breakfast, lots of cuddles, and some new pieces of furniture

I've had to sew them in

2010-08-30T08:30:00.001+10:00

Truly, I have. See?

My babies are so excited about their not-even-so-new-anymore-found ability to stand up that they do it all the time. All day. All night. Even when they are so so so tired they literally can't open their eyes or hold their heads up, they still trying to stand up in their cots. It's like they're compelled to do it, as though it's beyond their control. Even in their sleeping bags!!

We found that if we put gentle pressure on their mid-section - just resting a hand across their tummy/chest - they would be instantly asleep, but the micro-second we let go, they were UP! UP! UP! Crying, wanting to be asleep, but unable to stop themselves from snapping back up to standing.

After nearly two months of 10-12 wake ups per night, we had to do something. None of us was getting any sleep. We were all miserable and exhausted.

So, I sewed them in. Well, I turned an old cloth nappy into a wide band that folds across their tummies and keeps them in position.

I felt so guilty as I was making them, and even worse as I put them on the beds and "strapped them in". But then.... bliss! 13 HOURS OF UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP. That was nearly 2 weeks ago, and it's been the same every night since.

They can get out if they really want to. Lach has taken his off twice when he wasn't ready for sleep. But they do seem to like them - I guess it's like being swaddled again. They certainly needed them. T and I needed them. We're all better rested and lot happier in our little house.

#27 Have at least one grand adventure

2010-08-27T23:19:00.002+10:00

it will give you a lifetime of memories to revel in and stories to share. Everyone deserves a grand adventure - you will learn so much about yourself.

The weekend

2010-08-23T09:48:00.005+10:00

T's birthday, a long late dinner with good friends and good wine, a happy baby shower, the boys' first ever (!!) sleepover, the first sleep-in in a year, cake, presents, singstar, and fun. That was our lovely weekend :)

Like a nice glass of vino?

2010-08-20T17:56:00.003+10:00

You should definitely follow this blog (and not just because it's written by my very clever husband). It picks out good yummy wines that you can get at your local bottleshop and provides a useful (and usually humourous) review so you know what you're getting yourself in for.

http://thewinewank.blogspot.com/

Salute!

#26 Rage is ugly

2010-08-19T20:22:00.001+10:00

so learn to control your temper.

Presents!

2010-08-18T22:50:00.004+10:00

Soooo, I've been shopping for first birthday presents.

And this is what I've found:

Beautiful, no?

Ah, I think so. Practical, comfy, and not a primary colour in sight. My house, and my eyes will thank me for a long time.

Is it just me, or do bright plastic loud noisy baby things do your head in too?

[you can buy these at Milk Bottles]

11 months

2010-08-10T09:14:00.007+10:00

Ah, Rocky

Daddy has been joking all month that we should change your name from Lachie to Rocky, because you're so tough. You really are. You don't get grizzly with teething, you don't cry when you're sick, and you don't kick up a fuss when you whack your head, which you seem to be doing a lot lately - since you discovered standing up!

You LOVE standing up. You love it so much that you do it all day long, which is so adorable. And all night long too, which is, well, less adorable, if I'm honest :)

The last 5-6 weeks have been long ones - you've been waking up a lot in the night and we think it's because you're so excited about crawling and standing that you want to do it all night long, even when you're so so tired you can't quite manage it. We've had to separate you and Hamish at night so that you don't wake him too! But you're much much better this week - only waking once, so hopefully we'll be back to normal soon.

You and Hamish have discovered dancing, and you seriously go for it! You're quite picky though, you don't just dance to anything. So far we've discovered you love Thirsty Merc, Stairway to Heaven, and quite a lot of Oasis (thanks dad). But your favourite favourite song of all time is Coldplay's "Lost". (I am playing it right now and you are totally sitting there dancing - you are scrumptious!).

You love blowing raspberries - especially when your mouth is full of food..... Messy, but funny. Mama and Daddy have to try very very hard not to laugh.

You've caught up to Hamish in weight too now Mr Lach. You're 8.2kg of gorgeousness.

I adore you, you cheeky little monkey.
As ever, all the love in the universe
Your Mama

Hamish, my beautiful boy

Happy 11 month birthday darling one.

You're still the most chilled out, happy baby going around. You find delight in everything and everyone around you. You're the one who melts even the most hardened hearts when we're out and about. You can secure a smile from anyone.

You're trying so hard to stand up too. You can get yourself up onto your knees, and you put your arms up to hold on and puuuuull, so I am sure that any day now you'll be up and about.

You've found your groove too. You really love music - your little ears prick up and a big grin sneaks across your face, and you start moving. You even dance to the music on tv ads! But most of all you love it when I sing "Hushabye Mountain".

You chat chat chat chat all day long. Sing and chat. You make the most delightful noises - I could listen to you all day long. Your giggle is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Your belly laugh makes me laugh out loud.

I love how excited you get when you spot me around the corner and race as fast as your little hands and knees will carry you to reach me, smiling and laughing all the way.

You're 8.2kg now, and every single gram of you is delicious.

As ever, all the love in the universe
Your Mama

Another manic Monday

2010-08-02T14:09:00.004+10:00

On Mondays, more than any other day of the week, I need to remind myself to breathe deep and smile.

I don't know what it is about them, but Mondays are always a bit ratty in our house. We're all a little out of sorts.

I'm sure it has something to do with having had a gorgeous couple of days all together, with T home.

We miss him on Mondays.

So, just to remind me that it's only another few short days until the next one, here are a few snaps of our lovely weekend in the gorgeous winter sunshine.

The L-man laughing at Grandma's tickles

Hamish exploring

An interview with a 10.5 month old

2010-07-28T11:43:00.004+10:00

Mama: Good morning darling, did you have a good night's sleep (knowing full well he did not!)
10.5month old: awwwahhahhha. geeeeeeee. mememememe, dadaddd

Translation: Well, I could have, because I've done it before but it's so boring now that I can stand up

Mama: Well, at least we got to have some lovely cuddles in the night
10.5 month old : hahaha ccaaa deeeee arhg, sweeeeeee

Translation: Hmmm, maybe for you, but couldn't you tell I didn't want cuddles? I thought I protested enough. I really just like standing up.

Mama: Maybe tonight we'll see if we can keep you up a bit later so that you're a bit more tired for bed-time.
10.5month old: shhh, gooooo, baaa, eggggggggg

Translation: Ah, that old chestnut. No chance. Honestly, I just like standing up. It's the getting back down thing that I can't quite master. But don't worry. Only a few more weeks and I'll be all over it. And then it will be Hamish's turn.....

Love you Lachie, you little monster
xxxx

The 15 of us

2010-07-26T10:15:00.003+10:00

My twin mums group is awesome. We didn't get together at ante-natal classes, we didn't meet at the child health clinic, and we didn't find each other through the multiple births association. I think what makes it so fabulous is that - bizarrely - we all knew each other before our twins were born.

We have five amazing (well I think so) women and ten delightfully gorgeous babies. All of us share a special bond - having experienced the challenges of a twin pregnancy, premature deliveries, time in intensive and special care and the joy of bringing two beautiful babies into the world.

We started meeting when our babies were little. Six of our babies were born within two weeks of each other, and the other four little ones followed closely about eight weeks later (those within a week of each other).

While we were all pregnant we stayed in constant touch, following each other's journeys closely - sharing the joys, the pains, the scares, and the hospital stays both pre and post twin arrivals.

We meet every fortnight, which seems like a lot, but we enjoy it so much - and we need it too. Until recently we would meet at each other's houses, but now that quite a few are on the move, we've had to move to a park. Going out in public with 10 babies, 5 double prams, and all the associated guff (toys, playmats, bumbos, walkers, etc) is an hilarious sight. People really do stare.

It's also incredibly busy. In the whole time we've been meeting, we have only managed to get one photo with all 15 of us - and we had to get a photographer in to get it for us. We did it for ourselves for Mother's Day, and I think it's something we'll repeat every year.

We speak and email daily to give each other advice, moral support and a pick me up. It is very hard to understand just how overwhelming having twins can be and it is comforting to have the support of people who know what you are going through.

Our babies are still little (the oldest twins are 10.5 months) so they're really just starting to play together and become aware of each other. But what is so special is that they are always going to know each other and hopefully these little twinnies will be friends for a very long time.

We always joke that when they start school (they will all be in the same year) they'll be looking at the 'singleton' kids thinking they're the odd ones for not being twins.

So, to my twin mummy friends - love you ladies. Thanks for everything xxx

#25 Don't get the personalised plates

2010-07-24T22:45:00.004+10:00

None of them are as funny or witty as you will think they are at the time you order them.
You don't want to be that guy with the arrogant / poxy / embarrassing / ridiculous / vain number plates. Truly, you don't.

First birthday party inspiration

2010-07-23T09:00:00.004+10:00

The boys' first birthday party is such a milestone. After such a problematic pregnancy, and a loooong time in NICU at the start of their tiny lives, I feel so blessed that we've made it - not just on one piece - but thriving, enjoying, and being the happiest we've ever been in our lives.

It's not going to be a huge party - no clowns, or facepainters, or bouncy castles - but all the special people in their lives will be there surrounding them with all the love in the universe.

We're having a 'kite' party - I know the boys are too small to run around flying one, but it sums up how I feel - flying high, free, and looking to the sun :)

Here are some wonderful parties that I can't stop looking at:

[photos courtesy of the wonderful Tracy Lau and Imprintables]

9 years

2010-07-14T13:30:00.002+10:00

radical excision of tumour
17 hour surgery
mandibular split
tracheostomy
halo
pic line
re-learning to swallow and eat
re-learning to walk

9 years ago today I had the mother of all surgeries to remove a mass that had dangerously compressed my spinal cord at the brain stem level. I could very easily have died.

Who'd have thought that my life would be so beautiful now?

But it is.

xxx

My babies are 10 months old

2010-07-09T21:42:00.006+10:00

Darling boys - you are 10 months old today. And you are so delightful - possibly the most delightful so far.

You are so aware, and alert, and curious. You giggle and gaggle at each other. And you reach out and hold each others' hand all the time. It melts my heart.

Hame, my squishous, you are divine. Delightful. Darling. Serene. Happy. Twinkly. Cuddly. You are the happiest baby in the world, I swear it. You must be. There couldn't be another baby as calm and smiley as you are.

You're so brave too. All four of your top teeth came through in one day, and even though your gums were bleeding, you didn't make a single noise. Not one. You just toughed it out.

And you have also started eating solids in the last week. Overnight! One day you couldn't, and the next day you were fine! You love yoghurt, and mango & banana, and pea,broccoli and pear all mixed together.

You have finally hit the big 8kg!! Actually, you're 8.1kg. So exciting. We *could* turn your carseat around so you face forwards! But I think we'll wait for Lach to catch up so that you can look forwards at the same time.

You're almost crawling. So so so close. You commando crawl all over the place like a pro, and when you're up on all fours you can take a step or two forward so it won't be long before you're all over the place.

Today was mama's friend's birthday, and you sat on her lap for ages and just gave her your endless smiles until she had tears in her eyes.

You are a beautiful gentle kind soul and I adore you so much I can't put it into words.

Little Lach, my darling one. My goodness you are so so funny. You have such a gigantic personality inside that tiny little body.

You do things to make people laugh. Intentionally. You are very clever. Your favourite game is to make 'grrrr' noises, and then you wait for someone to 'grrr' back, then you do it louder, and louder, and louder, and louder, until we're all shouting and belly-laughing.

You are ON THE MOVE. You won't stay still for a second. Not even long enough to let me put your nappy on. Nope. Boring. So many other things you'd rather be doing than lying still for 30 seconds. Our nappy changing sessions have turned into 5 minute mini-battles :)

It's the same with everything. Even though you can't stand on your own yet, it's all you want to do. You have started trying really hard to pull yourself up onto things, and you flatly refuse to bend in the middle when we put you down. REFUSE. It's the same with crawling. You get up on all fours, move forward and then collapse but you don't let it deter you. You just keep on getting up and doing it again. You are the most determined person I have ever come across.

We always find you in the oddest positions in your cot. This morning, Daddy found you right up the top end, hugging your bear - upright - and asleep. You are so funny.

You have four top teeth too. And you are just looking so grown up - like a real little boy.

You are 7.95kg. A little ball of muscle. A miracle.

I love you to the end of the universe.

Darling ones, thank you for making my days joyful, colourful and love-filled.
Your mama xxx

First birthday dreaming

2010-06-29T15:39:00.003+10:00

I actually can't believe I'm writing this post. How is that I'm already thinking about Hame & Lach's first birthday party?

In my defence, it is around the same time as Father's Day and numerous other family members' birthdays, so I think I can *just about* get away with it :)

I'm thinking blue skies (slightly out of my control perhaps?), kites, ribbons, and laughter.

I can't believe my babies are going to be one so soon.

image from here

Julia Gillard - a new era

2010-06-24T08:56:00.004+10:00

I've been glued to the tvs, papers, blogs and twitter all morning.

We have a new Prime Minister. Australia's first female Prime Minister. Historic? Absolutely. Momentous? Oh, yes. Exciting? Definitely. Remarkable? I don't actually think so....

But first, how did it happen?

Well, where did Rudd go? In the beginning he was everywhere, all the time. On TV. Prime time tv even. On radio. Everywhere. Highly visible. But lately, he's been noticeably absent and Julia has been eveywhere. Acting PM. On TV. Taking Tony on head-to-head. Making jokes. Sounding relatively normal (well, as normal as a politican can sound - why is it that they have to use so many words to say the simplest thing?). Being SEEN.

SHe's also been left to talk to the public about lots of tricky and controversial subjects. Emissions Trading Scheme. Refugees. other yucky stuff. Whether Kev wasn't here, or whether he knew no-one could understand him (god, he speaks some gobbldy-gook), I don't know. But Julia has been a consistent voice.

Not that this kind of thing makes a huge difference; after all, in Australia we don't elect our Prime Minister. The winning party chooses who leads them.

But it has obviously helped her party to think she's pretty ace. Her being a woman hasn't stopped them from seeing this. And so we see the leadership challenge.

Poor KRudd. I do feel sorry for him. And not just because of his terrible chin. He's actually my local member. Not that you'd know it. And thus, the absence rears its head again.

Yes, Julia Gillard is our first female PM. But I really hope we don't let her gender become the talking point, rather than her capabilities. It is absolutely historic, of course, and extremely significant for women especially in Australia. But it's not the only thing that defines her, nor is it even the most relevant.

I actually think the whole leadership challenge has been extremely gender-less, to be honest. The powerbrokers who kickstarted the leadership challenge wanted Julia for the top job not because she is a woman, but because they reckon she's the best person for the job.

Whether she is remains to be seen. So let's hope, like we would with any PM, that she does it with integrity, strength, intelligence, tolerance (and fabulous shoes :)).

9 months!!!

2010-06-15T15:53:00.009+10:00

My darling little ones are already 9 months old. 9 months!! And what a blessed 9 months it's been. My boys are hilarious. They seriously crack me up. They make the funniest sounds - and so loud! They're very mobile now too - not proper- crawling - but commando-crawling around the place, spinning on the spot, and generally getting into everything.

We just returned from our first overseas trip with the babies, and they were total dolls. Lach slept the entire way there, and Hame slept for about half of the trip, smiling at everyone around him the remainder of the time. The trip back wasn't quite as relaxing but only because they didn't sleep the whole way. They were still utterly charming. We waited until last to disembark and so many clucky ladies stopped on the way past to tell us how precious

, gorgeous and well-behaved they were :)

We shipped them around too - a few nights here, a few nights there, different cots, different bed times, lots of getting in and out of the car and taking them into cellar doors for wine tastings, and they just smiled the whole time. We visited my Grandad for his 89th birthday, and it was the first time he'd met the boys. He adored them, and they adored him. They gave him lots of smiles and cuddles, and he played lots of 'pop goes the weezel' - it was beautiful to see them with their Great-Grandad 'B'. Moments in life like that are very special indeed.

They really are very special little ones, and I think it took this trip for us to really realise just how lucky we are.

**********

Little Lach, my sparky little monkey

You are so so cheeky. Your mischievous smile disarms everyone you meet.

You are a tiny bundle of energy - always moving, looking, thinking, stretching, reaching, spinning, laughing.

Your kisses are the most wonderful thing, and the way you snuggle in to my neck for cuddles saying

'mamamama' melts my heart.

You have been sick this month, but you are so tough. Mama and Daddy didn't even know you were sick until it had become quite bad. You didn't complain or whinge. You just needed lots of snuggles, and you bounced right back.

You and Hamish are best friends - you're always looking for him and smiling at him. You've started having to share your toys too, and you do it with reasonably good grace - mo

st of the time :)

You're still only little (7.6kg), but you make up for it in personality. And hair. You have the cutest, softest, pure white thick thatch of hair.

All the love in the universe

Your Mama

**********

Hamish, my darling one

You are such a special boy. You are kind and generous and always so happy. You don't cry. You really truly don't. People don't believe me when I tell them, but it's true. You are the happiest little baby I have ever come across.

You have 'ocean eyes' - they are such a deep dark blue and they seem to go forever. They twinkle with laughter and then out they come - the most delightful giggles and squeals I've ever heard.

You really love music - when you hear music or singing your eyes open wide, you smile a huge smile, and you start to dance. It is so beautiful, and it makes me happy because I love music too. I love that when I sing you stop whatever it is you're doing and stare at me with a big smile until I stop.

And I love that when I come in to pick you up in the morning you smile at me as though you've never ever been so pleased to see anyone. It melts my heart. You also shout 'dadadadadad' all the time, which brings the biggest smile I've ever seen to your daddy's face.

You are on the move too! You have mastered the art of the commando crawl, and you are all over the place. You like squishing yourself into the most unlikely places - like under the armchair, behind the rocker, inside shelves shelves.

You're the bigger brother at 7.9kg, but you're still my little baby. You have such soft squishy cheeks that you look chubbier than you really are. But you're catching up to other 9 month olds, and I'm sure it will be no time at all before you're back on the scale.

So, my dancing, smiling, darling one, as ever, all the love in the universe

Your Mama

Ring watch - update 1

2010-05-31T13:31:00.003+10:00

I have now had nearly two weeks to come to terms with losing my wedding and engagement rings. I still get very tight in the chest I think about it, and how stupid I have been, but I know for sure they are gone.

The sad and sorry story is this:

Since the boys were born I have lost a fair bit of weight. I think this is pretty common for twin mums - there never seems to be enough hours in the day to eat properly and you're constantly on the go. So, my rings have been loose, and I've been meaning to have them resized for quite a while. But it's just one of those things that I haven't found time for.

I am as certain as I can be that my rings came off when I was putting some rubbish into the wheelie bin one night. It was late, I was exhausted, I had been on the go all day, and I just didn't notice. It was only the next day - after the rubbish had been collected - that I realised what had happened. When the realisation came to me I think I actually physically doubled over. It was like I'd been kicked in the stomach.

I've had to make a police statement, lodge an insurance claim, seek quotes from jewellers for replacements, and my new rings should be with me this week.

It won't be the same though. They're not the *same* rings that were blessed at our wedding, that T proposed to me with, that I've stared at every day since I got them.

Is it silly to be this upset over something that is just material? Part of me feels like I'm entirely over-reacting, but most of me is feeling the loss so keenly.

I can't wait to get rings back on my hand. I feel naked without them.

Tears

2010-05-25T08:46:00.008+10:00

I've spent a good portion of the last week in tears. I've lost my wedding and engagement rings, and I'm so terribly terribly sad.

They are nowhere I know. I have been hoping with every ounce of wish and will in me that they turn up.

But they haven't, despite many hours of retracing steps and searching - both my home and the recessess of my memory.

So, I suppose, that's it. They're lost. Gone from my life forever. An absence I will feel, as acutely as the first moment I realised they were missing, every time I look at my left hand.

At least I have beautiful memories.

image from here

Holiday here we come!!!

2010-05-18T22:26:00.004+10:00

Ohmygoodness, hold me back. We are going on a holiday, and yes, I am probably disproportionately excited about it.

We're off to New Zealand to see my cousins, my aunty and uncle and my darling Grandad who will turn 89 while we are there.

We're going to spend 4 or 5 days in Christchurch doing family stuff, and then we're heading up north to the Marlborough region where we intend to do some serious wine tasting. Well, two of us - the adults in the group.

Then we're heading over to Wellington and to the Wairarapa / Martinborough area for more of the same.

So, the countdown is on.

It's a rather different proposition though, planning a holiday with two babies. Can we get bassinettes on the plane? (no, apparently, is the answer to that question), what if they won't suck on anything as we take off?, what if they cry the whole way?, can I dress them warmly enough for a NZ winter?, should I take portacots, or hire them at the hotels?, can I get the formula and food they like?, we'd better make sure our hotel room has cooking facilities because there isn't going to be any restaurant nights out, what do I do about highchairs (sew a portable one is the answer to that one), and so on!!

But it's just new kind of exciting. You should see their passports -adorable!

What I'm most looking forward to is nearly 2 weeks of just us. The four of us. Spending time together without any other pressures on us. It's so close I can smell it :)

Raw

2010-05-14T15:33:00.004+10:00

I've been deliberating all day about whether or not to participate in this no-makeup thing. My blog isn't really about this stuff, I thought. But it is appealing for some reason. On the down-side, it's been "one-of-those-days", you know the ones that follow sleepness nights, restless babies, and no time for a shower.

But if everyone else can do it, then so can I. I don't usually wear foundation, but I do usually wear mascara. I don't usually look made-up, but I don't normally look this tired. My hair is never really styled particularly well, but it is usually clean

Arrgh, here goes!! Me, in all my non-made-up glory :)

There, that didn't feel so bad after all.
x

Thanks Chantelle & Kylie for the motivation :)

#24 Love your mama

2010-05-09T23:56:00.003+10:00

especially on Mother's Day :)

Mother's Day and 8 months old

2010-05-08T21:52:00.005+10:00

I can't believe my tiny ones are 8 months old. Where does the time go?

This month has been a month of significant development. They are learning so many new things so rapidly.

My tiny babies are both sitting up! Their top teeth are coming through. They play with each other and belly laugh. They squirm when I'm trying to dress them. They try to roll of the change table when I'm changing them. And I can't turn my back for a second because they don't stay in the one spot for very long :)

**********

Squishous

I love every last little squishy cuddly inch of you. You're a beautiful and delightful little boy. You have such a generous nature, and your smile is so wide, so innocent, so delighted, and so warm.

You are such a happy thing - you babble, giggle and smile all day long. You need your muslin to go to sleep. If you don't have it you just can't settle. As soon as it's in your little hands, you are off in dreamland - instantly.

In the last couple of days you have gone from sort-of-sitting-up to confidently sitting there - reaching all around you for toys. You're starting to put your hands out in front of you, so I'm sure you're about to discover kneeling on your hands and knees. And then you'll be crawling!

Your face lights up when you see me - even if I've only left the room for a minute. I love that you love me.

What a wonderful mother's day.

As ever, all the love in the universe

Your mama

**********

Little Lach (who's not so little anymore, actually)

You started giggling this week!!! And you haven't stopped. You've always smiled your face off, but actual giggles were very few and far between. But now, you are absolutely cracking up at everything. Especially at Hamish. You just look at him and giggle giggle giggle. You reach out to him with your little arms and pull him in for a big hug. It's delightful.

You are such a little boy! So strong and so determined. You pull these little faces when you're trying to get somewhere or something. It's like you won't rest until you've made it. You have such strength and independence - it's obvious to everyone who meets you.

I can't take my eyes off you for a second. You're always twisting and turning, rolling and moving.

You ate an entire avocado yesterday. You crack me up you hilarious, determined, sparky little darling. I adore you. Thank you for my first Mother's Day - I'm not sure any others will top this one.

As ever, all the love in the universe

Your Mama

the perfect mother's day gift?

2010-05-07T17:04:00.004+10:00

A lovely idea for any new mama or mama-to-be this mother's day :)

Our gift vouchers can be bought in the following amounts:

pram liner - $55
pram liner and matching blanket set - $95
pram liner, matching blanket and spill cloth - $100
pram liner, matching blanket, spill cloth and playmat - $190

A gorgeous personalised gift voucher will be emailed to your lucky recipient in perfect time for Mother's Day.

xx

busy busy busy!

2010-05-06T23:21:00.003+10:00

I've been busy this week, but I am happy to finally have both my etsy store at least partially operational, an immie&ollie facebook page, and an immie&ollie blog!

Click here to go to my etsy store
Click here to go to the immie&ollie facebook page - please join up!
Click here to see the immie&ollie blog

The blog is looking far from beautiful, but I'll get there :) The new blog is where I will post the adventures of starting up a business as well as specials and giveaways.

This blog is where I'll continue to chronicle the adventures I have with my darling little ones.

I hope to see some of you over there soon :)

the weekend...briefly

2010-05-03T09:26:00.004+10:00

I've had a wonderful weekend - so relaxing and fun. And it's not over yet because up here in sunny QLD it is our labour day public holiday (go the workers!).

On Saturday, we went to the airport to farewell Grandma and Pa off on their 5 week European holiday, and it was so fun taking the boys out there. Their little heads were swivelling at every sound, passer-by, and aeroplane.

Then we had a picnic in the park at Kangaroo Point which was just so so lovely. Here's a snap:

Next, an indulgence. But one I think I deserve :) I was at the Chanel counter on Friday telling the lovely girl there that I needed new foundation because I was having a girls' night out and mine was well past its use-by date. She insisted I come back the next afternoon to buy it because the national makeup team was in town, and I managed to get the last appointment of the day. It was perfect.

It looked really lovely too, but I always feel a bit funny when I have my makeup done because I can feel it. Do you know what I mean? I don't normally wear foundation, so it feels really rather odd to me.

In the evening, my gorgeous twin mum friends and I went out to dinner. There are 5 of us, and usually we catch up every fortnight where we race around like crazy people looking after the needs of 10 little babies. So it was utter bliss to just sit there and chat. ..... about our babies of course. Although we did get onto Chloe handbags for just a minute :)

Yesterday we went out to breakfast, did a spot of shopping in Queens Plaza where we bought a couple of gorgeous new outfits for H&L for a little photo session we're having on Wednesday.

And then, last night - god knows where the energy came from - I cooked gremolata crusted lamb rack and individual potato gratins. It was really rather delicious.

And today, it's my sisters' birthday. They're twins too, and turning 31, so we're having a family get-together.

I wish every weekend could be as wonderful as this one :)

Sneak peak - immie&ollie photo shoot

2010-04-28T13:00:00.003+10:00

We had our photo shoot yesterday in New Farm Park and the Powerhouse. It went beautifully, as you can see from the photos above.

The photographer is Katie Walker-Smith, a twin-mum-to-be I met while selling liners at the Mathilda's Market. She's a fab photographer and was so wonderful with the babies yesterday. You can check her out here.

The little girls in these photos are my beautiful friend Rachel's twin daughters, Moleigh and Leeyah. We were due to have our twins on exactly the same day! We both went early though. Rach a week earlier than me. We spend a lot of time together and our four bubs adore each other.

And the adorable toddler is Ava, Katie's daughter. She certainly knows how to work the camera - she's a pro!

I'm getting a website - truly. Soon. Promise. Will keep you posted.

The first time

2010-04-28T10:30:00.003+10:00

I have just waved my boys off. They're with Grandma for the day.

This is the first time they've spent a whole day with someone else, without me in earshot.

I blew them a million kisses.

I feel strange. Like part of me is missing. Like something has wrapped itself tightly around my chest and won't let go.

And, oh, there's a tear.

I know it will get easier. It's just the first time.

[photo]

The trouble with eating

2010-04-27T14:36:00.005+10:00

The boys have been 'eating' solids for quite some time now.

Lach is a human vaccum cleaner. There is nothing he won't devour, given half the chance. He's a big fan of spaghetti bolognaise. Loves lentils and veg. Smashes down moroccan lamb with quinoa. Grins with delight when he sees balti chicken with rice coming his way. Licks the vegemite off toast fingers, can't get enough yoghurt, and is a true-blue weetbix kid. In fact, the littlest man loves food so much that he shuts up the bottle shop if he thinks there is even the slightest whiff of possibility that real food might be coming his way. Given milk is still supposed to make up the majority of his intake, this is slightly concerning, but he always manages to get enough I think.

Hamish on the other hand, seems to have a quite dramatic textural issue. Mush off a spoon has never been a winner with him. He projectile vomits - every single time. He involuntarily shudders and gags, and the poor little mate ends up with everything all over himself.

I discovered by accident that if he can touch the food first, play with it a bit, and then put it in his mouth himself, he is much much better. He still vomits, but nowhere near as often.

So, I've been giving him things that he can pick up and munch on. But it's not good for my heart. I panic that he is going to choke. My heart is in my mouth the entire time. Especially when he sticks something too far down and goes all 'googly eyed'. I swear it will be the death of me.

The other issue I have with this style of eating is this: how can it be enough? how can it be nutritionally sound? With Lach's food, I give him everything. It all goes in the whazzer and its done. But with this stick-food approach, there are only some things that work. Not everything lends itself to becoming a 'stick' of food. I

've tried putting some of the puree in a bowl and giving him a spoon, and this works too - but the mush ends up everywhere, and he actually eats very little of it.

The challenge is finding the time to do all of this properly.

I have been blessed with very good babies - beautiful temperaments. But they don't need much sleep. And they just will not sleep at the same time. They also won't eat at the same time anymore. So I have less time than ever. There literally is barely time to make a cup of tea, and I never get to finish it. Ever.

Producing one sort of meal for one baby, a different one for the other is so much work. And, quite frankly, once the first flurry of 'ohmygosh, look at how cute you are with mooshy stuff all over your face' photos, it's just plain HARD work.

Solids. Pfff.

At the moment my life feels like groundhog day. Bottle, burb, highchairs, mush, sticks. Clean up babies. Clean up washing. Clean up floor. Clean up high chairs. Bottle, burb, and so on, and on, and on.

I'm hoping that one day is just 'clicks' into place. Please tell me that it does :)

sweating on it

2010-04-23T21:23:00.004+10:00

When I was 16 years old, I found out that I was lucky to be alive.

One day, while my orthodontist was examining an x-ray of my teeth, she discovered that I didn't have an odontoid peg. Sounds a bit star-treky doesn't it? In very crude terms, the peg is that thing that your head sits on and rotates around - kind of like the pivot, I suppose. Without it,the whoel thing is very unstable, and can sever the spinal cord, which at that level would more than likely result in death.

Apparently, she called my mum immediately to tell her what she had discovered and urged mum to keep me very still and call the doctor. Mum phoned our GP, who just simply didn't believe it. He said mum must have mis-heard. He said it wasn't possible for someone with no odontoid peg to make it to 16 years of age. So the orthodontist sent the x-rays over to the GP, who immediately called an ambulance for me. From that minute, I wasn't allowed to move my neck at all. I was in a full body brace.

I had a big operation and the surgeons 'built' me a peg out of grafted bone and wire. All fixed.

But then, when I was 22 a tumour formed in the same place on my brain stem. But because of the previous surgery and resultant limitations (movement, headaches etc) I didn't notice anything wrong for a very long time. I thought all the headaches were normal. It wasn't until I woke up one day unable to move the entire right side of my body that I realised something was up.

My spinal cord was compromised. In fact, it was bent into almost an s bend.

Again, I found out I was lucky to be alive.

A 17 hour operation later (involving separating my lower face in half through my mouth, down my throat and up to behind my right ear, and then also through the back of my neck), having a tracheostomy (I've never been so quiet - I had to write on an etcha-sketch!!), wearing a 'halo' for many many many months, and a good strong dose of golden staph needing intravenous antibiotics for 6 months - I was fixed.

And so far so good.

But I am sweating on a call from the orthopaedic surgeon. My condition was congenital, but is it hereditary? Will my boys have it?

Now I understand how my parents must have felt when they learned about my condition.

My fingers are crossed that in my case it was some bizarre DNA muck-up in utero and not a hereditary disorder.

I was supposed to hear back today, but despite phoning again, I've still heard nothing.

I'm hoping no news is good news :) And I'm going to enjoy the looong weekend.

Tomorrow is a big day

2010-04-20T20:51:00.003+10:00

Tomorrow is a massive day for me.

I didn't mention anything last week because I was so busy sewing, but I also pitched to a QLD based NGO to be their new marketing/PR agency. I found out a couple of days ago that I won the job!

So, I am officially a back-to-work-mama from tomorrow. Tomorrow is our first proper meeting since winning the business, so I have to follow up the initial impression with some hard-core action. I need to convince them entirely that they made the right decision in trusting me with their brand, with their stakeholder communications, and with their strategic planning.

I also have a meeting with a boutique baby store first up - I'm taking my pram/carseat liners, blankets and spill cloths in to guage their interest in becoming a stockist!!

I also had a financial offer today - someone wants to heavily invest in immie&ollie. It's a huge decision. I'm not entirely comfortable or sure about it - I feel like it's too early to take that sort of step just yet. After all, I've only just dipped a toe in the water.

I'm not sure which I'm most nervous about to be honest.

There's a change in the air. I'm open to the possibilities. And I'm excited about the future. But I'm quietly shite-ing myself too..;)

xx

I won!!!

2010-04-20T08:43:00.003+10:00

Thank you beautiful Chantelle! I can't believe I won the pampers nappies. I am super excited. Possibly over-excited. But when you go through as many nappies as I do per day, this is truly a Big Deal.

I've never won anything - ever. Not even $2 on a scratch-it. This probably means that my long-term 'secure financial future' plan of winning the lotto probably isn't the best thing in the world to rely on, but hey, maybe this is the start of a new winning streak.

So, thank you Chantelle and Pampers. I'm very grateful (and so too are my little darlings).

xx

Happy, grateful, and looking forward to the future!

2010-04-17T19:30:00.002+10:00

Today's Mathilda's Market was a resounding success! I woke up this morning with a serious case of butterflies and spent the drive there telling myself that it didn't matter if we didn't sell anything, because we would be learning and be able to use this feedback to improve things.

But, we nearly sold out! We made over $1000 of sales before lunchtime, and finished the day on about $1400. I am so flabbergasted, and humbled. Everyone was so generous with their feedback, and enthusiastic about our products.

I'm feeling excited and positive about the future of this little venture. Exhausted too. But in a lovely, smiley, contented way.

Life's good people!

What will be will be!

2010-04-16T21:56:00.003+10:00

Well, there is officially nothing more we can do for our first ever Mathilda's Market tomorrow.

The goodies are all sewn, rolled, ribboned and packed. Bags are stamped. Care instructions are printed. Tablecloth is ironed (what the!!).Friends have been told. Everything is in the garage waiting to be loaded into the car in the morning.

I'm really looking forward to it. It's going to be a very valuable day I think. Not necessarily in terms of sales, but in listening and learning.

Nothing more for me to do here but savour a lovely glass of red and watch my favourite Grand Designs episodes (met Kevin McCloud when I lived in London - we had the most excellent chat about his daughter - and he was so lovely).

First cab off the rank - the home office

2010-04-15T14:04:00.006+10:00

I have so far been super slack with my 'one room at a time' project. I've been kinda busy....

But, as of right now, I have no choice but to get cracking on one area - our home office.

Because.... I have my first client! This consulting gig might just pull off. It's an NGO who need some serious help with their social change strategies and stakeholder comms, so from next week, I am officially a work-from-home-for-actual-money-mama.

Since the boys have been born, I've barely ventured downstairs, except to do the washing. I use my laptop upstairs for blogging, emailing and quick web searching (usually stuff like 'nappy rash', 'projectile vomit', etc).

But I'm going to need a good workable space, a calm space, and a practical space. And, as per the rules of the game, I have practically no money to spend. And I have one day. So I'm not going to be buying new furniture, or putting up wallpaper, or getting new lights installed, or anything like that. It also has to be used by T for his stuff, so I can't go too swirly whirly sadly.

Here are the scary 'before' photos:

What a mess!! Oh dear Lord.

(and yes, there are 7 bottles of wine in that photo - but don't worry. It's not all me. T is a wine-reviewer/lawyer (personally, I think there's a reason they're connected...))

Let the games begin!

Who went for a run? Me? What?

2010-04-13T20:31:00.006+10:00

I didn't mean to. Honestly. I'm not a runner, not even a jogger. Frankly, I'm barely even a walker.

But this afternoon I loaded the boys into their pram and headed out for a gentle suburban walk. I was planning to point out the trees and the birds and gently amble around my suburb and its rather revoltingly (if you're walking) steep hills (that's what you get in the inner eastern 'burbs in Brisvegas).

We stopped off at the park just a street away and I pulled out the boys' travel playmats and popped them down under a giant gum tree. It was delicious! They had such a brilliant time, and I enjoyed just playing with them in the beautiful (ie not too hot) weather. Lachie even sat up totally by himself for a whole minute. I was bursting with pride so much that I was hanging out for someone to walk by just so I could tell them :)

Instead of turning around and walking straight back home, I felt like going for a bit of a walk. And then, out of nowhere, came this urge to run! So I did. I think it was to get some momentum up the giant hill, but it felt sooooo good! So I just kept going. I didn't even really notice the gigantic double pram in front of me.

It felt so good I might even do it again.

Now, back to the sewing......

Baptism cupcakes

2010-04-10T21:44:00.002+10:00

My gorgeous nephew Henry is being baptised tomorrow, and T and I are going to be his godparents. In a fit of responsibility I offered to make some cupcakes for the day. My experience - or lack thereof - has been detailed in a previous post - so suffice to say I was veeerrry unsure about how these would turn out.

But, they're ok, I think. Far from perfect, but o.k. I've never used fondant before, so this was my first time kneading, tinting, cutting, etc. I think the brown could have been browner, and I have a bit of buttercream 'glue' hanging out the edges of some of the polkadots (which I will try to remove with a toothpick), but I think they'll pass muster :)

7 months!

2010-04-09T20:23:00.007+10:00

My darling babies are 7 months old today. And they are particularly delightful at the moment (give or take the middle-of-the-night playtime sessions). Their personalities are on show more than ever. They cackle and babble all day long. They try to sit up, grab toys, grab each other, grab me. Adorable.

*******************

Happy 7 month birthday my darling Lach

You are an amazing little man. So much energy and spirit! You're so strong-willed.

You let us know when you're not happy about something, but far more often you let us know when you are happy. Your smile is so cheeky. You have a mischevious look about you, young man!

You've taken to wanting every single toy that Hamish is playing with - even if you're playing with exactly the same one! But don't worry too much, he's figured you out, and he's reciprocating.

You cuddle your Mama and Daddy now, which is seriously the most adorable thing in the world. My heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest when you reach up with your little arms to touch my face. You put your tiny little hands on my cheeks and pull me in for the biggest, sloppiest open-mouthed kiss - usually straight over the end of my nose. You cuddle your nana and grandma too, and it bring tears to their eyes.

And, your first tooth broke through your bottom gum today! Such a big boy. I think you probably spend a good half of your waking time doing stomach crunches. You are trying so hard to pull yourself into a sitting position from lying down that you actually have a six-pack. You are a little ball of muscle!

You are now 6.65kg, so you're getting bigger and bigger. You're still a little thing, but you're definitely catching up. You're eating spaghetti bolognaise! You can't get enough food to be honest - in fact, I think you prefer it to your milk!

You make me smile my darling tiny one. I can't put into words how much I love you.

All the love in the universe,

Your Mama

Hamish - my gorgeous beautiful little boy

My squishy mishy - sometimes I go a little far and call you my squishous delicious - yes, I know. I should stop that :) But you are just so so cuddly. You are definitely hug-powered.

You're on the move too. You stretch and roll around all over the place. You're never in the spot where I put you down. If I turn my back for a second, you're off the mat, on the floor.

You have two bottom teeth!! We've been working really hard to get you to eat solids, and finally we had a break-through. We think you just don't like mush (and really, I don't blame you!). If I give you steamed carrot sticks, pieces of apple, pawpaw or kiwifruit, rusks, toast, or anything you can pick up and put in your mouth yourself, you are totally fine. If I try to put a spoonful of mush in your mouth - well, let's just say projectile vomit, and leave it at that.

You love your mama, daddy and your brother. I don't think I've ever seen a smile as kind, gentle and joyous as yours. You are a gentle soul, my little darling boy. You charm everyone you meet. You just seem to find so much joy in your life, and you have a permanent smile on your face. Everyone who meets you falls in love with you.

You're 7.25kg! You have the most adorable soft cheeks. And you have the softest kindest eyes.

I love you my beautiful little baby boy - so so much.

All the love in the universe

Your Mama

Crazy mama

2010-04-09T16:40:00.003+10:00

that's me. Undoubtedly.

Not only do I have a ridiculous amount of sewing to do, I have volunteered to make pretty cupcakes for my nephew's baptism this weekend. So, am I a pro cake decorator?? Errrm, no. Am I a somewhat competent cake decorator? Errrm, no. Have I ever used fondant before? Hell, no. Exactly how much experience do I have with cake decorating?? Well, none, now that you mention it.....

I have this lovely vision in my head of perfectly baked, perfectly symmetrical, perfectly decorated cupcakes, and I am sure the reality just cannot live up to this dream.

But we shall see! I'm going to give it a red-hot go. At least I'll have a delicious time trying :)

Wrecked

2010-04-08T08:11:00.002+10:00

Hamish has decided that sleeping during the wee hours of the morning is no fun at all. Day 6 and counting. From about midnight until about 2am he thinks it's play time. Why?? Please sleep little man, Mama is wrecked. And I can't catch up during the day while he's sleeping, because the little darlings don't sleep at the same time. I'm pretty sure it would be bad parenting to let Lachie have full run of the house while I head off for a few zzzzzs.